I live for the Chaos

This Strap Does 11,640 Damage per Second

[impressed sounding murmuring amongst the board of investors, shuffling papers]

shout out to girls (me) who want to look femme (me) but who grow facial hair extremely quickly (me) and are suffering (me)

I want to pop that Man’s eyes like water balloons

Ah. ah I really didn’t enjoy that comment

Forbidden boba

oh wow i loathe you!

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

santa’s creed

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

It’s winter, Santa is the master of parka-our.

this is real. absolute queen shit.

I would actually pay for this movie if it came out and benefited her damnnn

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

Yes.

oh god theres art

@altadude you know what must be done.

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

I apologize to all my followers for this

if i had to read this you do too

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

………

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

Tis the season bitches

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

Why is this on my dash?

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

“maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance” is an incredibly profound quote and I did NOT expect to get it from a Grinch x Tony the Tiger post

so i’ve decided to make this happen actually

UPDATE: it’s here

everytime I remember that lesbian couple that have a marble statue of the two of them embracing and sleeping on a bed together over where their graves will be because the artists didn’t believe they would be able to be married before they died, so what they couldn’t have in life they could have in death, I fucking breakdown

God fucking damn it

WHY

It’s a hello kitty breast implant

Hello Titty

i want to eat it

elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH

then when he’s patching up the cut on her hand and she flinches and he says “i know, blacksmith’s hands… they’re rough” because he thinks that’s what’s bothering her HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!! THAT’S THE PINING I’M TALKING ABOUT BINCH!!! I DON’T ACCEPT LESS!!!!

That’s how I would dress if I was gonna confess my undying love to Kiera knightley

OP why did you imply that with effort I CAN turn off the sun

We know where it is and we know what it's made of. Anyone who knows those things about me could kill me

oh yeah, if you want context for “The Truth” being something I’m talking about that you have certainly never heard of, where I’m getting this information- the source is that I was raised in this cult. I know it sounds, almost fake or something, but it isn’t.

just want to say it’s decent as fuck of y’all to reblog this. it’s hard for me to talk about this stuff and harder if I feel like no one is listening. Thank you all for making me feel like someone hears this stuff sometimes.

i need cash so i will be selling nudes, however they will be nudes of various shaved animals such as naked sun bears

*scuttles across your dash muttering about blue whales & democratic socialism*

*scuttles after you gibbering about space and free healthcare*

Real talk I hate modern interior design. I loathe it. I detest it in the personal vindictive way typically reserved for middle school bullies and extended family members who vote republican. Modern furniture design is grotesque, and not in the fun freaky way I respect. It is disgusting. It is morally indefensible. It has no back support, provides no comfort, no joy, no cushion for my tush or my spine. Minimalism does not exist for you, it in fact resents your very presence and the fact of your birth. These worthless sticks of chrome and pleather furniture are shaped solely to stroke the slimy egoes of fool designers & capitalists & hipster-cum-sports bars that charge $12 for an appetizer. Such morally defunct furnishings are for observation and corporate office waiting room decoration only, their raison d'etre is stubbed toes and back pain, they exist to punish you for having the needs of flesh, how dare you mistake them for friends

what the hell did modern furniture do to you

THERE’S NO PLACE FOR ME TO FUCKING SIT!!!

Can we start using the phrase “Abstract Suffering” more often cause like I hardcore relate