Im An Olympic Octopus Trainer

*logs on to you*

hm. it feels like someone is accessing my subroutines and files. it's probably nothing ^-^

there's an old old lady sitting at the top of a tall tall house and she stares out the window and points her long gnarled finger at me

thats one of the hot milfs in ur area they were talking about

i think so! last time i asked for her number i awoke in the forest of illusions 😃

Making the club DJ man play ‘antwave’ and no matter what he does I stop him and say, “it’s smaller than that.”

just a yucky pile of meat. thats my job & what i do

‘full movie watch free online’ was in the early 21st century a kind of prayer

Merry Pissmas! Don't forget to give someone a big ol' piss if you find them under the pissletoe!

If you feel that's not an appropriate thing to do with the person you've found yourself with, you can always just give them a little friendly piss on the cheek!

tis the season

I forgot about this

I haven’t seen this show up on my dash ONCE yet this Chanukah season I have to do everything by myself

Happy Chanukah, my peeps, enjoy

[Video shows a man pole-dancing with a cardboard box painted to look like a dreidel, while playing ‘Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel’ on clarinet. In the first cut, the man is upright and spinning clockwise, with one leg raised and his lower leg in the box. The side of the box facing the camera shows the letter ג‎ (gimel). In the second cut, the box has been rotated to show the symbol ש‎ (shin), and the man is upside-down, one leg around the pole and the other extended out, the top of his head just under the lip of the box. In the third and final cut, the box is lifted off the floor and being worn by the man using a suspender harness, and he and the giant dreidel are rotating counter-clockwise, showing all four sides.]

Cookies represent the body of Santa while the milk represents the blood of Santa

cant wait to see how long it takes our mom to notice the kirby nativity scene my brother and i set up and yell at us

merry christmas to all those who celebrate

this is  the only xmas content i want to see, fuck everything else. Shrimper Santa and his flying albino alligators 

This is the raddest goddamn shit I’ve ever seen oh my god

Remember that his planet has the gravity several times that of Earth. That's a Mighty car

My question is “why an internal combustion engine when Earth had flying cars already?”.

same reason people buy cars from the 70s

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

all hail the 1 million note Piss Post

This post isn't about how insane john lennon was its about how Google has spent gazillion dollars making a machine that lies to you about john lennons mpreg fantasies!!!