I grew tall to fill the void

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

was talking about my thesis with my aunt and i was explaining to her that because i'm doing an mfa in creative writing my thesis is writing a novel and i'm supposed to have a first draft by the end of the summer. and she said "wow! and i mean i'm sure that's fun for you?" and when i said yes it is she said "that's great. because if it were me i'd kill myself." which was a slightly nuts thing to say in a church waiting for my grandmother's funeral to start but i respect her honesty

Im not compatible with a single person on the entire planet

not El rebloging, when she is compatible w me😩

You know what, you're right *kisses you*

come here my love *spins you around*