desinas ineptire

My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go - they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.

That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:

There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street

Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position

One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it

It was raining

They pulled the covers off my bed and now they want me to put the covers back

They put their ball on top of the ottoman but the ottoman won’t throw it for them

The cat is sleeping and won’t chase them

A flower fell off the potted plant

The cat is sitting in a box and they don’t like it

One of them lost their bandana

The cat won’t take the toy they’re trying to give her

ESPECIALLY the diy ones. back before costumes were mass-manufactured, people were left to their own devices and shit got WILD.

It was an absolute free-for-all. back before you could buy a batman mask in a drug store for $5, people really just did whatever

and it was FABULOUS

bonus points to these early commercialization attempts. yes that is a batman dress

there it is, again

that kid lost his goddamn mind. It was the ACTUAL BEST. 

Cool fact about kids: they are small and dumb and they don’t know anything.

Like, for instance, their life experience gives them no reason to know that their toys are often based on actual things that exist.

It took him a while to realise the shuttle was even there because- protip about space shuttles: they are freaking huge. So like it didn’t even really register to him as an object? It was too big, it just seemed like the ceiling? But he saw the photos on the wall and he saw the gift shop and he was looking all around like “MY PLANE! MY PLANE!” because his toy “plane” was on every single thing. Models. Shirts. Mugs. Plushies. Books. This was a whole warehouse dedicated just to his plane, and that would have been amazing enough. Except, also, the actual life-size real has-been-to-space thing was there too. 

So eventually we got him to look up at the actual shuttle like, “yeah, look! There it is! It’s your plane, and it’s REALLY BIG” and when he finally took it in he literally screamed and I swear I thought for a second he was gonna die right there “IT’S BIG. MY PLANE MY PLANE MY PLANE” (looking at all the other people in the science center, pointing at a NASA space shuttle, shouting “MY PLANE!” like the actual proudest person in the world who just willed an entire spacecraft into existence).