The Argyle Shitpost

to the casual observer it may look like i'm trying to summon a demon but anyone who knows me will realize that i am simply calling my wife

The wife and the demon are the same person

The fact that these replies would mean wildly different thing had they been said on a different platform, such as Facebook, is absolutely hilarious

It’s a metaphor, see. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing. Tell me, Will, are you the killing thing… or are you the teeth?

звуки секса с моей неудачной женой

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

This text thread brought us into a new age

I am reminded of a film about a young man who comes upon a rat in the streets of Paris. This rat is special; he has been gifted with a talent for the culinary arts. He transcends his station as vermin. Yet he is cursed to live a half life, his greatest talent confined to the kitchen in which he will never be welcome. Yet he strives to live; he conducts himself through the young man, concealed within the chef’s toque. The man becomes marionette to the rat - yet the rat himself is puppet to the whims of his own ability, unable to find significance in the simplicity of his species’ station. In the end, it is only the food which escapes the cruel influence of obligation. It is constituted not by what it must do, but only by what it has always been. Tell me, Will, are you the rat? The young man, controlled? Or are you, perhaps… the food?

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

TEEN HORSE GIRL MOVIE WHERE THE HORSE DIES AN HOUR IN AND THE SECOND HALF IS THE GIRL LEARNING OCCULT SCIENCE TO REANIMATE IT SO SHE CAN WIN THE BIG DERBY

Necroprancer

TAGLINE: YOU CANT BEAT THIS DEAD HORSE

I...I don’t know what I expected

Traditional british cuisine