I guess I'm an Adult

it’s fucking wild because one day you’re like i guess i’m not dying tragically young and you go to the store and you buy dental floss, ingredients for soup, and a bath mat

its funny when events that probably couldve been traumatic dont bother you so you'll end up casually dropping stuff like "so after that time i almost got lost at sea as a kid-" and theyll be like WHAT and youre like. oh yeah dont worry its just part of my lore. its honestly not even a top five interesting backstory moment. focus please.

please put in the tags how many siblings you have and whether you’re a competitive person or not it’s for science

terfs would lose their minds if they were exposed to 2000s-2010s "a girl can do anything a boy can do, including beating them at sports" messaging like why are you all acting like nobody has ever said this and that it's radical to think that women aren't inherently worse at things. open your mind. read some feminist theory. touch some grass. the most basic banal middle-class white woman feminism of the 2010s looks fucking radical and visionary compared to the misogynistic victimization complex y'all are peddling

twitter is owned by a tech bro supervillain, facebook is getting rid of FACT checking bc it’s “biased” and moving all moderators to texas, tik tok is getting banned (I’ll b using a vpn but still), insta is owned by the dude getting rid of fact checking……but tumblr? good old tumblr? here she remains, vastly unchanged but for the few updates we usually bully staff into undoing. a true stronghold of democracy and free speech. waiting for those who abandoned her to come crawling back. bc yah. we’re still here

This scene is the argument I use any time anyone tells me that he’s an irrelevant character.

Hot diggity damn

I will always reblog this.

quick, tell me the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten. my doctor told me i have impeccable eardrums 

my dentist once told me (in an appreciative tone) that i have huge neanderthal-like canine teeth

oh i AM losing my mind over this 

When I had surgery, the anesthesiologist had me open up my mouth so they could “see what they were working with” when they intubated me and they were like “oh nice, lots of room! [assistant] come look!” And the assistant came to look down my throat and was like “nice” 😂

My wife, when we were first dating, told me I reminded her of a walrus, you know, a really pretty one.

A mortician told me my skintone is so pale I’d be a pain in the ass to embalm

A yoga instructor complimented me on having “stretchy hips” - I’m not overall flexible I just apparently accidentally trained myself to be a master of all hip opening yoga poses by sitting in the weirdest ways possible at home.

My sonographer exclaimed that I have “the cutest little uterus” while giving me an ultrasound.

I once went to a doctor for hip pain, she proceeded to lay me down and stretch my legs all kinds of ways, going “wow you’re so flexible, I guess you’re fine”. I’m hypermobile.

I have excellent veins. “Very juicy,” said the nice totally-not-a-vampire nurse taking my blood for a hormonal panel.

listen. from the bottom of my heart. what do you mean, 2000 was 20 years ago.

people born in 2000 need to stop commenting on this post because i’m not ready to accept yall are nearly 20 years old and not righteously in preschool where you should be