I want his headlice.

just left a huge bloodstain in the shape of my body at claire's

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

No, fuck. Chiropractors

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

we have been tricked into thinking that love is the spice of life when it is actually the broth -_-

male gaze in the left eye female gaze in the right now i gaze upon you all in the most disrespectful ways possible from every direction

everyone's got that one buddy who's an imp who torments them with demonic energy

there’s been an accident at the explosion factory

Hey what do you call a werewolf youtuber

A lycansubscribe

introverts are like the first time daft punk say around the world in around the world. but extroverts are more like the second time they say it

Do you want to go to the park and sit on the swings yes or no

sometimes i get richard siken and richard scarry confused in my head which has made for a few interesting literary conversations

you queerbait miette??

death of author! death of author for one thousand years!

Imagine if you’re going to an Insane Clown Posse show expecting them to do their usual horrorcore rap rock and instead they come out to circus music in a tiny clown car and start throwing pies at each other and doing funny flipsy-flops and goofs and all of the juggalos are having an earnestly great time for the whole family and then they ask you on stage and you get tricked and squirted with water but in a funny, good-natured way which you handle well and then you get to take a bow and the whole audience applauds and you are laughing so hard it is the best night of your life