I Wanna Be Magic

“beautiful braids!” “they are sausages”

Shrek makes infinitely more sense if you ascribe to the theory that everyone is a PC in an RPG, and Donkey’s player managed to avoid a boss battle by rolling a nat 20 to seduce the fucking dragon

lee jordan records voldemort’s speeches then makes dubstep remixes

my favorite bit in harry potter is when a gangly freckled ginger child with an old pet rat and patched jeans and dirt on his nose awkwardly sits down across from a scrawny underfed lil kid with baggy clothes and broken glasses and lightning carved onto his face and they both think ‘i must protect this boy’

I’m a social vampire u gotta invite me into ur conversation or I cannot enter

tbh the only evidence i need that harry’s a gryffindor is the fact that he kept going back to the forbidden forest after voldemort tried to kill him, aragog tried to eat him, lupin turned into a wolf and attacked him, the dementors tried to kiss him, barty crouch was murdered and turned into a bone, umbridge was kidnapped by centaurs,, boy had to die in that forest before he stopped going back

we have no evidence he stopped

Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.

That is what I call a fairy tale ending.

ok what the hell is the x files

Your life is going on as normal until you notice a smudge of purple forming on your hand. Assuming it’s a hard to wash off pen mark, you continue on with your day. When you look at the mark again, it has grown…

Please someone make a long dramatic narrative where it turns out the character is turning into a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater