brave enough

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

wylan van eck character of all time. deeply anxious and pathetic while also being a snarky little bitch. manages to perfectly balance both an inferiority and superiority complex. sees his boss/sort of kidnapper take someone’s eye out and then throw them overboard and proceeds to yell at him for it. stops in the middle of breaking into one of the most secure strongholds in the world to ask his crush if he likes guys. wholeheartedly believes his inability to read is a moral failing. plays the flute. blows things up for profit. has genya make him a little hotter when he’s getting tailored back. is a good enough actor to fool the whole merchant council but cannot control his own blush. has a constant internal monologue questioning all his life choices. makes a bet over his dad wanting to kill him. maintains extremely one-sided beef with the guy who kissed his sort of boyfriend. loves his friends. loves his mom. has a beautiful tenor. is nice to his stepmom’s birds. spits in his abusive dad’s face. gets super beat up for a job and all the other characters are like hey you really didn’t have to go that hard and his response is basically “yeah i know i wanted to <3”.

i love him so fucking much.

"Wait for you by the window. No Funerals." actually i'm killing myself. one funeral.