Queer

I WANT TO FUCKING PET HIM

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

I love learning.

IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.

ON MY DASH

Also bury the body deeper than six feet, so it can’t be washed up or smelled by hounds. Yes, that may mean you dig a 12 foot deep grave. Guess what? Murder is work.

Murder is work kids.

Too much work

Creating new jobs in America one murder at a time

Also work fast and no witnesses

THIS HAS OVER A MILLION NOTES WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!!!!!

Also if you are planning to flee the country, get that figured out way in advance. At least a year or two in advance. And make sure everyone knows you’re moving, so it’s less suspicious than to randomly leave without saying anything. Perhaps it’s studying abroad, a job opportunity, or even meeting up with a friend and/or romantic partner?

If you buey the body vertically don’t forget to leave a few feet above the head and place some animal bones on it so when the blood hounds sniff they will find the animal bones and the police would likely rule it as a false positive. Also globally the solving rate for murder is 45% so don’t worry too much

Don’t forget it’s just a missing person case if they can’t find the body.

Hmm

Dances with plans

Helpful tumblr. Real helpful.

Thank you Tumblr. Now I have ideas :)

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

HEY YALL i have two pigs <3

reblog the Awesome Grade picture for awesome grades

May your GPA rise due to clerical error.

this magical tumblr grade increaser comes once in a million years, reblog for good grades

PLEASE

CMON MAGICAL PICTURE

Oooo please I need it

Omg I need this so damn much

yeah I need my spanish grade to be better

MY GRADES ARE FINALLY GOOD BUT I NEED THEM TO STAY THAT WAY ALSO CAN I GET SME MOTIVATION

you’re stuck living with your icon for a month have fun

no

i- i don’t know how to respond to that

oh shut up coming from you

how am i a bottom???

how are you not???

bitch i never do anything that makes me look like a bottom??????

yeah but you??? a top??? no

i can be a top

yeahhhhh about thattttttt she left me for a dude named Jared -_-

I love how gay people do it too. Just… really? You’re literally saying the same shit to bisexuals that straight people say to you, and you don’t see the hypocrisy? 

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

^^^

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

Why is this a thing like really? Homosextual people of ALL beings should understand that you like what you like and if the answer multiple choice then that’s just more love to go around non?

BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

THE REPLIES SAY IT ALL

GET THE FUCK INTO MY FOCEFIELD!

HELLO I’M BI, FUCK EVERYONE WHO’S BIPHOBIC

I actually started crying when I read the screenshots

Pan and loving my bi friends fuck off if you don’t agree

I’m bi and if you have a problem with it get the fuck off my blog

I am bi and I have bi friends. If you have a problem you can go jump in a lake.

Jumping in a lake is quite fun actually, if you have. a problem with bi people you can go jump in the Nile

*sings mr brightside loudly in support*

b i s e x u a l s a r e v a l i d

help them out!

its me, im apollo, mood, me, this is my life, hahahaha mood 

brb gonna go be sad and not know why

no fish, come we can eat a lot of crappy chips and watch netflix together

I really love these, and I reblog them every single time. Some of you don’t realize how easy it’s to forget to do some of those stuff or how hard they can be some days.

‪Podcast idea: a D&D campaign with same characters, same story, same everything, but different comedians picking it up each week and trying to deal with what the players of the past week put their characters through

Working title: Roll Reversal

So there’s actually a really solid chance of this becoming a thing. Can you reblog this post if you’d have interest in listening to this?

bruh hell yes

i think it’s very sexy of me to never conform to one aesthetic, an i a dark academic? and i an early 2000’s emo? am i a gay man from the seventies? am i an awkward teenage lesbian from the eighties? am i a nineteenth century poet? am i just stevie nicks? we will never know but i do think it’s very sexy of me