Different is nice, but it sure isn't pretty

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAD^TM

looking for Pikachu but it's a rough task because all he can say is "Squirtle! Squirtlesquirtlesquirrrrtlllllle!'

They just finished transporting the Count's boxes of dirt to his new home. Whitby is COOKED, I fear

My toxic trait is that no matter what I need three hours to myself at the end of the day to do absolutely nothing.

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

we have got to get americans healthcare

its too late they fucking died theyre with the ibuprofen now

Or who they're being racist towards

I really enjoy just existing in hotels. The long identical hallways. The soulless abstract art. The weird noises the air-conditioner makes. Strange city lights in the window. Six stories off the ground. Strangers chatting in the hall. Nothing in the dresser. No past, but an infinite present. 

"But officer, I was told throwing chairs at my children would be good for my immune system!"

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

ghouls. ghouls, all of you.

this too shall pass

HURRY UP

dear Dracula Daily people: you know what to do.