Stacey

My heart and my mind are suffering.. it has been this way for several months now. I’ve lost my motivation to study, to care for myself... as much as I’ve tried to keep strong and pretend I’m okay I know I’m not. 

The things that have happened are very personal, but what I will say is that I do need therapy now. I have become obsessed, scared, and lonely during this part of my life. 

The person I dedicated the most trust to in my life has lied to me for years even during the most intimate and special moments of our lives. I was turned to and blamed for finding out. I put myself in a position to beg for them to understand what they did wrong, I was lost and confused. They would have never been sorry if they didn't get caught. 

I have been with someone who has been gaslighting me and making me feel crazy. Sadly I have become obsessed and depressed now. Not a day goes by where I wish I wasn't here anymore but I know my daughter needs me...she is the only one keeping me alive.

I know its the hardest thing I have to do in my life but I have to learn to love myself before a man. My daughter and myself, I don't want to make the same mistakes my mother did when I was a child. To be more of a woman than a mother.

All I can say is try to think about your significant other and think if its really worth it to do things behind their back.. let them go if you are just going to hurt them.

I had to let go myself even if I didn’t want to deep down inside. I feel as if my other half was never with me for all these years and its a ghost. God.... as i’m writing this my tears are swelling up.