but you'd expect that from me.

I did this quiz where it said I was most like Tan. My sense of fashion is trash but honestly yeah I love carbs

Isn’t it weird how you can actually feel the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings

This is actually because it activates your vagus nerve! Basically your body goes “we are so upset! We must be injured! Where???? On the inside guts! Those are confusing and hard to differentiate!!! Confusing guts are hurt!”

Great! How do I uninstall it?

Thissss. No one can really agree when the millennials “end”, but most say between 95-97. Which means that millennials are all over 20, and as a group we’re in the work force now.

Yep, exactly. Millennials aren’t little kids, but the media still treats us that way. 

Millennials Killed Millenialism

I work at a toy store and my favorite thing about this time of year (the run-up to christmas) is how customers always act like it’s our fault when we run out of things. Like the individual stores have control over the manufacturers and the warehouses or that we can just magic up the toy they need, especially if they’ve waited until right before Christmas to buy their shit. I was told last year by at least fifty grown ass people that I was personally responsible for ruining their kid’s Christmas because we didn’t have something they wanted. It’s great. It’s so great. People are awesome. Christmas really brings out the good in people.

Translation: The leopard is another confirmation that cats are a liquid …

Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun

He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.

dude

He?