change your ways

People who fuck around on their laptops during lectures are so important I'm watching someone in front of me play tetris online enraptured

I’ll never forget the girl who was shopping for dildos mid lecture. She picked the one I wanted too

You can’t just leave this in the tags 🤣 @capacity2

I didn’t though….. it’s on the post u can see it right there I typed it onto the post

Does anyone want me

do you think, for a potato chip, being dipped in an onion-based condiment is like seeing an old friend for the first time in years, both of you fundamentally changed and soon destined to die but nonetheless still here in this moment?

cant believe we live in a reality where getting a silly iced drink can set you back 7 dollars. it's like they want me dead

every girl wants to get in a vehicle and flip 3-6 switches overhead in the process of turning it on

More things should be operated with big thumb switches and knobs and dials and shit.

They don’t even have to turn anything on I just want to flip switches and push buttons

The Human urge to run an activation sequence.

take off your glasses if you wear them for 20 seconds

you guys have got to try living . its ugly but theres no other option

‘the mortifying ordeal of being known’ what about the comforting joy of being understood

I’m his guardian angel his best friend . I’m the enteric coating on his ibuprofen

serving cunt

If I’ve learned anything from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, it’s that it is the one show where quotes are more normal and sane out of context than in context.

The “Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?” quote is bookended by Charlie violently spewing blood on a date

they didn't even ban mpreg