All I Really Want Is My TV + You

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Sun and Moonshine

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I’ve just finished watching Good Omens 3 and I honestly feel like throwing myself off a bridge. For several reasons.

First of all, you don't take two millennial beings who have loved each other against the entire universe for literal ages—despite being natural enemies—and just end them like this. You don't do 'Enemies to Friends' and 'Friends to Lovers' only to fail at resolving the core of their nature and then turn them into humans, like two random people who don't even have the same personalities they had before. It’s a lazy narrative choice; frankly, it’s insufficient and deeply unsatisfying. If this were an essay, it wouldn't even get a passing grade.

On top of that, there are so many loose ends. Let’s talk about that kiss from the second season. Let's talk about the fact that they just gave us this little 'hovering fingers' peck at the end. What kind of massive bullshit is that? You don’t have two 'Enemies to Lovers forever and always' kiss in such a desperate way at the end of the second season—which was a bridge season, by the way, and could have been handled so much better in 90 minutes—only to never address that kiss again. There was time to do it, there was a way to do it, and they just didn't.

And the 1941 flashbacks? We’re all still wondering what the hell happened that night in the bookshop after they finished dinner. Why did 'Stylish Crowley' have to leave his hat in Aziraphale's shop and never pick it up again, as if it burned like hell? We all know how much Crowley cares about his possessions and his clothes; it’s impossible that he didn't know it was there.

Finally, another Chekhov’s gun: Crowley and his existential doubts. For fuck's sake, he’s a guy with religious trauma. He wouldn’t just ask God why evil exists in the world; he would ask God: 'Why did you make me this way just to let me Fall?' God made him curious, made him ask questions, and then punished him for it. That was the only answer we were all waiting for.

The 'Cottage' ending... sure, it would have been beautiful if they were still them. A love story is beautiful because of what you build together, because you know how many memories you’ve made, how much road you’ve traveled to get to that point, and how much you’ve endured. Otherwise, it’s not a great love story; it’s just some shitty summer fling.

And above all, those two aren’t Crowley and Aziraphale. They are 'Anthony' and 'Asaph' or whatever the hell they called him. They are different people. They aren’t them. Anthony, the astrophysics professor, isn't Crowley—he’s just David and Michael playing different roles.