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this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

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isawken

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

isawken

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

undeadringers

its called house of leaves because you leaves the house

zyzix

animentality

moonshynecybin

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

moonshynecybin

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eebie

I just ate one

eebie

You can lie when you name things

mintbees

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

mintbees

greelin

i’ve been thinking about this and desperately searching for it for months

animentality

ovenroastedtwerkey

A grill worth fighting for

william-s-churros

i think i saw a movie like this once

maidslime

Ok I needed to know the story and

Guy makes a really stupid decision and gets in a car accident -> no real damage from accident but insurance goes up -> starts beating himself up over his stupid decision -> gets depressed -> starts to realize he's single and had crash been worse he'd die alone -> realizes he's never had a relationship or even a crush and starts wondering what he'd want out of a relationship -> starts to realize he doesn't really like girls so he thinks he must be gay -> realizes he likes girls and boys about the same amount, so he must be bi -> later realizes that "same amount" is none at all -> he's ace

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longlostlorian

trans parent struggles

longlostlorian

every time this goes around there's someone in the tags like "I don't go here, but—" and I have excellent news for you!! You CAN go here!! You can go here for free!!!!!

calvinandhobbescomic

justadreaminghufflepuff

This comic is genuinely how I remember which is which.

nonetoon

Everyone meet just a normal goose :)

nonetoon

Glad you guys like this totally normal goose!

nonetoon

I am making everyone remember normal goose

nonetoon

Well, I can not find the original separate post of this so I’m just going to tack these on here

kaibacorpintern

Not OTP nor NOTP but a magical third thing: I’m indifferent to your ship but your fanart fucking slaps

so1987-deactivated20230102

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

so1987-deactivated20230102

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

dailypattondoodles

Oh.

OH

lurlur

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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catsoverloaded

Poor girl broke her favorite sitting basket.

kitten-cab00dle

I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen ever in my fucking life her PEETS are STICKING OUT

batsandboba

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game

batsandboba

#id do this if it didnt doxx my location

inat has options for this! for each observation you upload, you can choose to keep the location public, not to disclose location at all, or to obscure it.

i'm a fan of the obscured option bc it shows the general area but not the exact coordinates, which allows for region-specific species ids without doxxing you. according to the inat help page it picks a random point within a 500km radius.

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