ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

person who genuinely hates themselves so much they can barely look anyone in the eye: i must remain humble lest my hideous ego spiral out of control

I am so glad you clarified. I was like “I’m glad that woman supports her wife in making increasingly weird ghilli suits”

Many of us saw the picture, thought it was two women, one in a weird costume, and thought, "Hey, good for them."

Maybe the sunflower is also a lesbian. We don't know.