his eyes shine like the rays of morning

why dont you make like a tree and feel the breeze and the sun and the changing of the seasons. and Grow

there is this thing called a "kitty cat". and you can get one for inside your home, and it will sit on all of your surfaces, and you can pet it.

Woke up this morning briefly desensitized to the language we use to describe time, and burst out laughing over an email saying there's a meeting at "2." That's literally just a number, not even a very big one. What’s next, cleaning the break room at “3"?

Empathy for addicts from now till forever

tumblr is so funny within my mutual circle ppl will be like cannibalism as a metaphor for sex is honestly so overdone 🙄 like it’s not even transgressive anymore it’s just vanilla atp 🙄 and then you go a little too far outside that circle and people are trigger tagging memes about infidelity

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like "DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen" and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like "please don't do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen" and everyone around me being like "that sounds fake" and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!

In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually

it's been a difficult past 20 years, as someone who doesn't like superheroes or star wars

Pretty much how I talk to my internal critic but with less rhyming

Having a bad anxiety-and-negative-self-talk day and I’m just walking along muttering shut the FUCK up you punk ass bitch and hoping nobody hears me.