Trans-Fag Lov3rboy

Okay here's the lowdown:

GD2: Wealthy, straight, physically inaccessible, wack energy, biggest and fanciest facilities. This space is in a really awkward to reach part of town and at the top of some HUGE fuckass stairs yet they still have the temerity to do disabiilty roundtables and shit. I have had several experiences with volunteers and staff treating me in an alienating/condescending way from their position as straight individuals who come from yuppie west loop stock. I know queer and trans people who have memberships here and attend events and have positive experiences, but I think that's simply because the facility is nice and sometimes people who are cool make a choice to go there, but that the general mainline crowd is pretty damn alienating. this is NOT a place for pick-up play or socializing easily, either -- for the most part people come with their own partners to use the space, not to meet or build community. I do like signing up for a free day pass and attending a class from time to time, but everytime that I do, my disinterest in generally being there is reinforced.

The Chicago Rose: grimy, unassuming, diverse, working class, has a somewhat shady past but in my experience is staffed by a lot of trans people. This dungeon is in Roger's Park near a ton of other leather spaces, which makes it very easy to get to, and it has many free nights and events. It also hosts events like the chicago pup patrol pup mosh for completely free. This space is EASILY the most racially diverse of the bunch, owing I think to its affordability and lack of the sort of elitist pretense that can make GD2 especially so impenetrable. You see all kinds of normal kinky people here, not just weird overeducated snobs with 100k a year jobs. Physically, it is in a cement covered basement and it fucking SMELLS LIKE IT. I was painting an image with my words when I said this is milipede in the pussy city. To my knowledge it has not happened but it feels like it could at any time. Some people look down on this place because it allows for drinking alcohol and there are cribs for adult babies and apparently there used to be some people who frequented there who creeped people out, but in my experience? This is the dungeon for the people.

1. request--the thing you're begging for. let me cum, don't spank me, get me pregnant, etc. be descriptive--usually, the more explicit, the better. make it sound appealing to your partner. refer to them by title (if applicable) in this step or the third step. not both.

2. promise--why they should do it. this can include descriptions of how whatever you're asking for will feel for them, how you'll react, or a promise for good behavior or quid pro quos. (in noncon scenes, this is also where you'd put a promise not to tell anyone/get the aggressor in trouble). this should be your longest section, and you CAN give more than one reason.

3. request--rephrase what you asked for in step 1. if step 1 was short, make this longer. if step 1 was long, make it shorter. this is the step where eye contact is most important.

in general, use a deferential, beseeching tone--you can choose how composed to keep it, but keep an undercurrent of "i'll die if you say no." (alternatively, you can lean into the humiliation of verbalizing your desires and speak soft and stuttery. but be warned, you'll run the risk of your dom making you repeat yourself louder.)

wait

wait fuck