Depth Charge Bill

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

mm you’re being such an okay boy for daddy. could be better could be worse. you will receive neither reward nor punishment for your forgettable behavior. that’s my okay boy, keep doing whatever …

I Am A Mutated Fuck. Will You Kill Me?

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

hsve you seen ?

freaking aweosme

they re literealtl bouny 🐇

literally so apwesome

I ❤️ talking about myself in the second person. Why did you do that

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

Jolene

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.