anyone can catch anything

odysseus tying himself to the mast but he's doing some proto shibari type shit to make his tits look really good and his crew isn't saying anything but it's kind of hard not to notice

She's ghostin you but shes goblin me

I'm... The Highwayman

Okay, good to know. So you see-

walkable cities are such a terrible idea when you think about them for literally any longer than a single second. more steps = more cracks = more mothers’ backs broken. simple fucking math. if you wanted your mom’s back blown out so bad you could’ve just called me

they should invent a gender i want to be

does anyone feel the layer of plexiglass between themselves and the rest of the world or is that just a me thing

some of you don’t seem to realize that In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade and he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" but the fighter still remains

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

i have final destination premonitions all the time but instead of seeing death i see all the possible liquids i could knock onto my laptop

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

failed

welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

It’s a mess here: someone looked your gift dark horse in the mouth, led it to water, and jumped back on it. Your ducks aren’t in a row, someone counted the chickens before they hatched. Your geese are silly, your brown cows aren’t explaining how, and every one of these sheep is a wolf but they don’t even notice with the amount of wool over their eyes. I’m fining you one million gold coins.

it was the goat blame the goat