I remember when God put you on my path, it was before 9/11.
You walked in from the sliding glass doors of that guy's apartment with your bookbag, notepad, and said you drew graffiti - I thought I was in Heaven.
You were tall, bright and fresh. My attempts to get to know you were in full effect.
We exchanged landlines, and I was like damnit he's so fine.
It's like a flash bulb camera took pictures and left them in my mind. 🙏🏼 I seem never to forget you no matter the length of time.
I remember when you and your friend came to my apartment to party. We stayed up all night drank coronas with a little bit of Bacardi.
I went to work late the next day because you didn't leave until 8am. That was pretty much the end of them.
I rolled in at 9 smelled like liquor, not wine, and definitely wasn't on time.
That was the end of that job but I didn't seem to care. Because I’d finally spent the night chillin’ with you and not lonely in despair.
A year straight went by and we got along so great.
You headlined my first attempt at a show, but little did I know you'd show up with some blonde hoe.
After that I just wanted to go.
I was so bruised and distracted by that, the next day my partner came over and pulled the plug on Mogel Enterprise and that was that.
A year went by and I struggled I was in a lot of emotional pain. I didn't hear from you and things just weren't the same. It wasn't until January the third two thousand and three that I called you and told you I loved you because the end was in sight for me.
You told me to grab a Dutch and just come through. I was highly intoxicated but grabbed the keys to my Jeep and drove straight to you.
I never made it because I OD’d - I crashed my Jeep into a steel pole, flipped it and was crushed but I some how still lived through it all.
Regardless again, more time went by. But we reconnected and decided we'd be friends and I wouldn't ever try to die.
There's so much more that I could go on and on for sure. But it seems to me after I was 33 you'd often forgotten about me. I kept at you never letting go, our core connection was like Hustle and Flow.
We laid in my bed and sat at my kitchen table. You read my personal childhood journals while we laughed and laughed but I never thought you'd desert me yet I had no real label.
I'd sell myself to you so much it was like my best attempts went unheard and the last time I was with you, I begged you to stay but you left and that was so absurd.
There was nothing I could ever say or do to seriously get threw to you.
Fast forward through so much, just to find out you got married in the clutch. The pain was so severe I thought my heart would burst. You were the only person that could ever quench certain thirsts.
This has been going on for so many years and years. Me chasing you like a hunter trails deer's. It never got me anywhere but filled with nothing but tears.
I still love you so much. I just will never know why I wasn't good enough.
janainaart
areudirty
origamiaround
gummygunk
prguitarman
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
theartofmadeline
