why must i have a job? it's getting in the way of thinking about one piece all day
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(It was originally just going to be the sex appeal/rizz/REALLY TRYING joke but then I thought about it too much lmfao. sorta-kinda a continuation of this)
Zoro prefers to kiss his boyfriends' foreheads/heads. He steps into the kitchen and Sanji doesn't stop cooking, so he just says good morning to him with a tired grunt and kisses the back of his head, pulling him closer with a hand on his waist before sitting on the table to have breakfast; Every time Luffy falls asleep on him, he kisses the top of his head while he lets his captain rest on his shoulder. He keeps doing this during Luffy's nap, and every now and then he just places kisses on his head, peacefully listening to him sleeping; Whenever Usopp is scared before fighting, Zoro forcefully grabs him by the cheeks and kisses his forehead a few times, making sure Usopp will come back to him safe whatever happens. Making sure he knows he's strong enough, but he'll be there if anything happens.
Luffy always kisses his boyfriends' cheeks, although it's a mix between kissing and biting, depending on the day. When Sanji is rightfully furious at him for sneaking into the kitchen to steal food, Luffy always fixes it by kissing his cheeks over and over again to calm him down (it always works); Whenever Zoro doesn't pay attention to him, he just bites his cheeks to bother him but it only ends up with Zoro kissing him back and pulling him close and they either end up wrestling or falling asleep on top of each other; Every time Usopp does something cool (like catching a rare beetle or a huge fish or, just, being himself) Luffy can't hold himself back and hugs him close to press his lips against his cheek really, really hard.
Sanji is a romantic, so he always goes for the lips. Somehow, he and Zoro always fight, so he just kisses him to shut him up when it gets too frustrating and they end up making out, pulling him close with all of his strength; Whenever Luffy acts silly, talking about his dreams with a huge grin on his face, Sanji just has to kiss him all of a sudden, noticing the taste of hope and freedom on Luffy's lips; Every time he's alone with Usopp, doing absolutely nothing besides enjoying each other's company, Sanji kisses him slowly and softly and running his hands through the sniper's hair.
Usopp chooses to kiss their scars, always a bit of guilt behind but worshipping their sacrifices. He kisses Zoro on top of his left eye whenever he gets mad at him for annoying him while he works out because it always makes him stop and blush and pick up Usopp to kiss him better; Whenever he's making love with Sanji he kisses the scar over his chest that was made by Enel back in Skypiea, protecting both him and Nami, and it always makes Sanji's heartbeat go a bit faster; He always kisses Luffy's chest scar because he wants to remind him that they'll never go away again and he regrets not being there for him when he needed it the most, his captain always smiling wide at that, reassuringly.
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so, in my reality Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji are all dating each other and its wonderful
equally in my reality, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, and Crocodile will end up all dating each other, and some pairings have happened in the past, but they just have to talk out their issues
comparing these polycules we have:
-a famous straw hat wearer with a simple outlook and positive attitude
-one of the if not the world’s greatest swordsman who is also edgy af
-a guy with a funky nose who thinks himself a captain even if its a little bit of a delusion
-and a cool as a cucumber guy in a suit with a smoking habit (who’s also trans, they’re just both going in different directions)
so, what im saying is this: generational polycules
ZoLuSanUso is probably a lot healthier than MiShCrocBuggy but the younger generation often has to help the older learn to communicate, yknow?
I love zosan and think the art made me love it even more, but if I'm being honest with myself and how I feel about the canon, I'd say there should be zolu and sanuso before zosan. Let me explain:
The only logical explanation for Zoro - a pirate hunter, who had killed pirates for very petty reasons... to join a random guy with no crew, no boat and a pipedream, is that he saw something in him. The sheer amount of loyalty this man holds for his captain is more than akin to blind devotion than anything. And the trust Luffy holds in his first mate is absolutely astounding.
Outside of the ladies, Sanji only ever defends/vouches for Usopp. Even though Usopp is a man, Sanji doesn't treat him with the annoyance he sometimes has for Luffy and Zoro. During the water 7 arc, he keeps defending Usopp even though the Mary fiascos. He's super protective towards him.
In conclusion, here's how I think it'd go:
Sanji had been unintentionally courting Usopp and only realized it when water 7 happened. At some point while they're still in recovery or maybe while they were still traveling to enmys lobby, he tries to tell him what he's realized. Because if he really leaves the crew, this would be his only chance and he needed to live without regrets, as there was no guarantee what could happen.
Sanji: Usopp, I know it's not the time or place, but-
Usopp: Haha, this isn't Usopp, I'm Sniper King, remember?!
Sanji (defeated, knowing nothing will come of this): Yeah, well, when you see Usopp, can you tell him that I'm sorry I couldn't tell him on time, but I love him and I regret only realizing it now...
Usopp: ...
Usopp: Oh... well... I'll be sure to tell him.
Sanji might have taken that as a nice way to reject him, so he decided to take it with dignity and leave but was stopped when he heard
Usopp: And thank you... I mean, he'd probably thank you. For telling him.
Would it be too pathetic of Sanji to hold onto hope?
After everything was said and done, Usopp joined again. Sanji had forgotten, with all the things that happened, about his confession. So he was a bit surprised when he approached him about it.
S: Soooo... Sniper King told me what you wanted to tell me...
U, sweating bullets: Whaaat? I didn't mean- I mean I never told him to tell you anything, idk what you're talking about. That sniper king guy probably lied!
S: I don't think he's the type to lie. He's a man of honor, you know.
U, not believe that he's getting jealous of himself: you're so easy to defend him, you like him or something?
S, with embarrassment but loving adoration: Yeah.
U, heart broken: Oh. Well, I wish you two a happy life then.
(If he's wondering whether or not to "rejoin as SK", but living a double life would be hard and -)
S: Wait, where are you going. I just told you I loved you and you're walking away? Did something happen, I thought...
U: You said you like Sniper King, not me. (*insert rant about how SK is so much better than Usopp and all that self degrading bs*)
S: Okay, okay, no. I know you're the same person. But if you insist: I love you too. Not only in a friend way, not because of your persona, but because of you. Usopp.
And awww, would you look at that, they started dating. Time passes and Usopp stops feeling as insecure as he had before. Sanji keeps flirting with women but never means it and they all know it because they always ends up back in each other's arms. But then something devastating happens. Sanji can't stop thinking about how the mosshead never wears a shirt. It's infuriating and Usopp kind of understands, at one point he goes "Have you tried touching his chest? Maybe you'll get it out of your system."
To which Sanji is 1. Speechless, petrified, flabbergasted; 2. Shook and horrified at the suggestion; 3. Kind of obsessed with the idea now that he thinks about it; 4. defensive because "my love, you are all I need how could youuuu think thaaat".
In that order.
Usopp, laughing nervously: It's not like I haven't done it.
Sanji: What?
Usopp: What.
So it turned out, that one night of drinking made Zoro almost kiss Usopp, which he backed away because he was afraid, but then Zoro called it "physical traids" which made him.confused and a bit worried that he didn't know what that was, so he said he'd think about it. Zoro looked at him in a way that conveyed "what is there to think about", but never voiced it. With a shrug, he said okay and never tried anything after that.
So Sanji and Usopp decided that they needed to talk about it with the swordsman himself. To work out the logistics if anything... What he said, however, none of them expected.
Zoro: I don't know why you make it into a big fuss. Physical traids, yeah, it's like: I find you attractive, you find me attractive, we care for each other so we make out or if we're feeling it - more. How can Luffy het it, but you can't.
Jaws on the floor.
They call Luffy in on the conversation and it gets worse.
Luffy: Yeah, it's like when I'm bored, or feel like it, we do stuff. But I don't really wanna kiss anyone else and I told him you guys are okay to kiss cause I trust you!
Explaining to them that, yes - that's kind of what dating is, and yes - they've been technically exclusively dating until now, went about as well as one might have hoped. At one point, Sanji definitely got frustrated from his own overthinking about why Marimo had hit on his boyfriend but never him. To which Zoro responded that he had tried a couple of times but Sanji just kicked or ignored him, so he gave up, thinking he wasn't interested.
And at some point Luffy definitely drops something like "I'd like to try with you guys too, it could be fun." with a beaming smile and both Usopp and Sanji wouldn't be able to stop thinking about ot for a week straight, low-key obsessing over it until they decide, okay, yes. And then they would tell him and he would just go "Oh, right, forgot about that, sure, let's do it!"
