#waveydnp

akdjfksk okay okay i’ll do my best..... it’s like how phil wanted so badly to go on a date with a boy, not just a hookup but a proper date. it’s like how dan tweeted “oi he’s mine” before he had any “right” to call phil his. it’s like how phil got someone kicked off jamaica trip bc he wanted dan there. it’s like dan choosing to attend university of manchester even tho picking something so major for a boy is a silly move.

it’s like ,, that same craving of carnal satisfaction you get from run-of-the-mill horny, but for signs that someone wants you as badly as you want them and will—you hope—continue to do so.

Richie bought a guitar before he even bought a car. It’s his pride and joy, a scuffed up brown acoustic with strings he meticulously put on by himself. 

He calls it his baby half the time and Sonia the other half, just to rile Eddie up. 

It always works. But he’s also figured out over the years how to wind Eddie right back down. Late nights and guitar lessons work well, Eddie with his back pressed against Richie’s chest while Richie tries to teach Eddie how to position his fingers. 

Eddie never catches on too much, but it’s worth every futile effort anyway. 

Tonight isn’t a lesson for Eddie right now, it’s just Richie trying to learn how to play something new for himself, and maybe show off a little too. Richie’s sat on the mattress he drug all by himself into the clubhouse, back against the wall and long legs slouched in front of him, while Eddie just watches from the hammock. 

“Monday you can fall apart,” Richie sings, too caught up in what he’s doing to even make a goofy face. His eyes look warm and serious in a way they rarely do and his voice is unfairly nice. 

Eddie’s glad no one else ever bothers to come around anymore. He doesn’t have to hope there’s nothing written on his face that might give away how his stomach just flipped over. 

They also can’t see that he’s stolen Richie’s hoodie because he got cold and can’t exactly sneak back inside his bedroom just to steal a jacket, or that Richie’s got a hickey on the base of his neck. They won’t be able to see what Richie and Eddie get up to later, if Eddie doesn’t just fall asleep to the serenade first. 

“Fucked up that B minor to G transition,” Richie mumbles a few seconds later, looking back down at his fingers. 

i mean-

a match and a fuse

I had heard about this fic before I read it a few months ago. It had been one of those fics that I had seen people talk about but I had never dove deeper into it. Then in late March, I finally opened it and looked at the tags and saw one that just made my heart freaking jump: Demisexuality.

I felt almost silly I hadn’t read it before because I tend to read anything that includes what I identify as myself. And man, Sarah, you did not disappoint. I could feel myself in elements of Phil’s struggles, his internal monologue and his doubts and worries. It gave words to some of the things I’ve never been able to properly express. And well, it also gave me hope and comfort as Phil finds his happy ending, which is even more wonderful.

Then the aspect of Dan’s depression being woven in so delicately and still so realistically. You don’t shy away from the ugliness of it, the pit of despair that it can put you in, but you also remember to show that he pulls himself out of it every single time. You highlight the strength in getting up even when you get knocked down again and again.

The whole setting and the world around them as well as all of the supporting characters just won my heart immediately. I found myself liking all of the little aspects, and it is the type of fic that literally feels like you are stepping into another world when you read it. I can see Phil and Jimmy’s flat, Dan’s shared flat and the local Starbucks so vividly for my inner eye. I feel like I’ve been by to visit.

And of course, above all, I was mesmerised and in love with how the two boys shift closer to each other. So tentatively. The scene at the house party where the two of them end up making their way to a quiet corner is burned into my memory because something shifted between them there, a first layer of trust established with promise of so many more to come. They share an understanding early on, even if none of them really knew exactly what the other is struggling with. The phrase kindred spirits come to mind and it feels like they were always meant to meet and find each other. 

I love the care they exhibit with each other, and how slowly and gently they fall in love. The burn is slow but it is more than that, they sit by the fire together, carefully tending to the flames until they build stronger and brighter. Until they burn perfectly together, and oh, that final release is so sweet because of their strong foundation and all the little actions that lead them there.

what the fuck

I can HEAR PHIL SAYING IT but dammit you win lol. I think I can even picture dan’s reaction?