#walkingcontradiction

Me: I don't need a boyfriend, I'm fine on my own. Who cares right?

Also me: *hides inside room all day eating homemade mousse watching romcoms internally dying because I don't have a boyfriend*

Why is everyone so irritating. Why is everyone so fucking stupid. Why are people so useless. Why are people so selfish. Why are people greedy, why do they take, take, take, take, take and never give. Why is the world so fucking overpopulated. Why do people think that there is only one way to live. Only one way to happiness? Wait, why do people keep seeking the end of the journey when in reality the best thing in life is the struggle and conquest of a certain goal or way of life. WHY... FUCKING WHY?! Why did I have to wake up at 24, realizing that the ideas that public school, media, movies, and older generations taught me is mother fucking WRONG. IT’S ALL FUCKING WRONG. Society has overomantasized EVERYTHING. I’m not amargada. I’m not negative... I’m a fucking realist that is told to just ignore it. To just ignore people. To not let situations get to me. BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I FEEL EVERYTHING 10x more than the average person. I already know what the fuck you’re thinking and I already know how you’re going to react by your body language. HUMANS SUCK. Maybe I’m not even a true empath and maybe people are just getting dumber, disconnecting from the true 6th sense and powers we have...I dunno... I just fucking hate everyone.

You know what’s stupid?

I still want to save the world. I want to cure the world...I forgive people because who the fuck has the energy to be angry and grudgeful 24/7. My thoughts are not my emotions. My emotions are not my actions. 

As much as my mind creates hateful thoughts... I still can’t help but have my heart melt.

Man fuck you.

-Daily thought stuck at the back of my head. Yours Truly,

By TMC – November 7th, 2024

To be an ENTP is to live as a bundle of contradictions. You’re the personality type that can charm a room one minute and crave solitude the next. You fit in everywhere yet feel at home nowhere. You’re capable of almost anything but held back by a fickle sense of motivation. Often, it feels like life is a string of opposing forces, always tugging at you from both directions. 

Let me expand on this…

Fitting in Everywhere… Yet Nowhere

As an ENTP, I can engage with anyone, adapt to any situation, and blend in where needed. But while I fit in, I don’t always feel like I belong. I can connect deeply, yet there’s a nagging sense of detachment a part of me watching from the sidelines, analysing and adjusting.

Arrogant, Yet Painfully Aware

The confidence that comes with being an ENTP often walks a fine line with arrogance. I know my strengths, yet my faults are always in clear view, as if a quiet voice keeps reminding me not to get too comfortable. Self-assured, yes, but self-critical to an extreme.

Capable of Anything, Motivated for Nothing

ENTPs have endless potential, but that can feel like a burden. I’ve learned I can master anything I set my mind to, but my mind doesn’t stay in one place long. It craves novelty, shunning routine. This push and pull between capability and motivation creates endless frustration an itch that can’t be scratched.

Witty and Charismatic, With a Low Tolerance for People

ENTPs are often the life of the party, quick witted and charismatic. But there's a limit. As much as I love discussing world events, I need space. The paradox of an extrovert who fiercely guards their solitude makes it hard to explain to others why I disappear after a great night out or dodge social calls.  I am the most introverted extrovert. 

Great Advice, Rarely Followed

Here’s an irony: ENTPs are fountains of wisdom. I’ll give you advice that could turn your life around, yet when it comes to my own, I stumble. Knowing what to do and feeling motivated to do it are miles apart.

The Sleepless Nights of an ENTP

Since I was about nine years old I knew I was a night person. Doesn’t help that I have insomnia. With a mind that’s never still, sleepless nights are almost inevitable. Every idea, observation, and emotion collides in a constant, restless churn. The very traits that make us engaging, insightful, and dynamic are the same ones that keep us from peace. I mean take right now the time I am wring this blog is 3,22am.

In the end, the paradox is a unique struggle. It’s the price we pay for living life on a different wavelength seeing patterns, ideas, and opportunities others may miss but often feeling like we’re adrift. As much as it frustrates those around us, the sleepless nights and endless contradictions are nothing compared to the quiet battles within..

Okay, now I think I have officially confused the hell out of everyone. Reason why is stemming from my personality and the fact it’s highly difficult to explain it. When I say I am a walking, breathing, living, and most undoubtedly the epitome of chaos and confusion, I mean exactly that.Let’s begin with the fact that my personality is a complete and total contradiction compared to my astrological…