#vsgblog

So my computer froze while I was typing... And I am too lazy to re type it! So here's my blog for today!!!

My current view. No worries! Just severely dehydration because of this damn stomach bug around!!! One bag down and starting to feel a lot better!!!

The lazy police! I haven't been at the gym in day. Yup! I said days. Why? I don't have an excuse because there is no excuse to miss the gym. I haven't been very active either besides cleaning. I did burn 900 calories a few days ago just from intense cleaning. Today's goal was to set times for me to eat because I must admit I'm horrible at it! Who would have thought I'd be struggling to reach a calorie goal that not long ago I exceeded by the thousands. So I already prepped my breakfast and snack and filled my 36 oz water bottle so when I wake up at the ass crack of dawn for work, I can just grab & go. Before this I would just bring my water bottle and not eat till 11am ish. So I was only consuming 200-400 calories a day. YIKES! So I'll let you all know how tomorrow goes. I may start meal prepping for all meals on Sunday's!!!

I am beginning to think my family does things on purpose. And I guess they aren’t because they are just in fact living their daily lives, but it’s driving me nuts. I don’t post about my eating habits very much but here goes. I love bagels. And there is this bagel shop in town that has a bagel sandwich to die for. Before my liquid diet I ate two bagel sandwiches because I new it wasn’t something I should or probably ever be able to have again. So my step father walks in with bagels for everyone, everyone but me. Which obviously I can’t have one so I’m not mad about that. I’m more pissed that when my daughter brought me her bagel to unwrap I asked that she go see my sister her auntie. And my step father made it seem like an inconvenience that I couldn’t unwrap her bagel. It may sound dumb and maybe not everyone will understand but the house is full of my the smell of my favorite bagels I don’t trust I have the strength to unwrap my daughters. I want one so fucking bad. So here my family who’s all overweight and probably shouldn’t even be indulging in bagels, chewing loudly with subtle sounds of “mm..mmmm.” It’s killing me. Every ounce of me wants a bite so bad, but I know myself well enough that that single bite will start a long downward spiral for me. There is days I feel like they rub it in on purpose. It sounds horrible to say but they crack jokes about my ability to have a tiny amount of food. This is my new life and I have to get used to it. Keto after VSG. I want to say I got this but my nose is clogged with the smell of a toasted everything bagel and I’m seriously questioning myself.

It went really good! I missed working! I missed my individuals!! I missed it so much!! I brought a protein shake for breakfast and it seemed to really work for me so I think that will be a part of my new routine. Being up so early also made it very easy to drink 64 oz of water!! Today I would say was an overall good day. It started when I got home I took my daughter in the trailer for a bike ride to the grocery store a bit down the road. Which is where I came up with the idea that I think we will make this a daily thing when it's nice out, go there and let her pick out a fruit and ride home. Some people stared out there Windows as we rode by, one man even yelled something that I thankfully didn't hear because I'm sure it would have upset me. I don't care! At least I'm not sitting on my ass doing nothing! Anyways, I'm hoping tomorrow goes just as well and I can get into this routine.

I'm so freaking excited! My bike that I ordered came in and so did the coupler for my trailer to be hooked to my new bike! And my brother is downstairs putting it together as I type! I love biking! I always have! And I'm sure I'll get some odd looks being so large on a bike but I don't care. I hope my daughter likes being in the trailer, she's too young to remember the last time she went in it. On another note, it's Tuesday! So we all know Tuesday is my weigh in day!! This week I lost 5 lbs. I think I'm disappointed in myself but I'm not sure why? So far I've lost 34 lbs. That's great because I never could have done this without my vsg but am I losing it right? I thought the beginning few months would be quicker? Dropping more at first and then it slowing down? I know I shouldn't be disappointed in myself and I'm only 3 weeks post op today. Five pounds lost is better than 1 lb gained so I'm trying to find it in me to be proud. I want to work harder to lose more but I don't even know what I can do at the gym yet and I definitely pushed myself last night because I felt pain in two incisions today. I did decide that I'm done with carbs, I want to eat a keto diet since I've had this surgery. I haven't seen any negative research against keto diets after VSG. And the papers I got from the nutritionalist basically is a keto diet except they want very low-non fat. That's the part I struggle with because a ketogenic diet actually helps with cholesterol and is better for the heart and body than the chemicals they pump in food to alter the flavor once they take the fat out. If anyone has any information that can help I would greatly appreciate it. That's all for tonight because I go back to work tomorrow morning so I have to be up at 6. Ideally I should wake up at 5:45 to get my protein ready and not skip breakfast. We'll see, I need to get into a new routine!!

So since this journey began meaning from my surgery date to now I've decided I would cut back on certain people in my life. Mainly people who don't have the same ambition as I do. I know that sounds rediculous but what I mean is, if your not going to change your life for the better or at least try. Then goodbye. I don't need anyone holding me back! Also I've parted myself from my phone a bit focusing more on my daughter & I. I do however have my nightly tumblr ritual! But It's time I'm completely selfish for once, if our relationship doesn't benefit me I don't want it. And please don't confuse this. I'm not saying materialistic, if you don't want to go for walks with me or be my gym buddy at times or maybe even a hike, then find the door. This is the new lifestyle I'm adapting to so that I can get my health in check. I don't want to sit on my ass and chat, I don't wanna meet for dinner, I don't want to sit around and watch the kids play. I want to be all in & active. Want to join me then join me, I could use that friendship. But if you don't have the same interests as I do in my new life then I'm sorry. A separate post will follow about other stuff but I feel this one should be its own post.

Since surgery… I’ve had a new partner. So far we haven’t slept apart. I wake up craving things I’ve never craved before my VSG.. Hahah. Before this gets too deep I should add my new partner is a bottle of water! Yup, I sleep with a bottle of water. I'm not sure if this is normal for my fellow vsg-ers... But I do wake up throughout the night with a dry mouth so I take a few sips & head back to bed... Anyone else go through this?