You know what? I just realized I'm hording my mom's cleaning hacks that are cheap and (mostly) low spoons.
Toilet Cleaning Hacks for the lazy/disabled/inflexible people with stiff spines (me) from my mom:
How to clean your toilet if you have no energy to scrub: Antibacterial denture cleansers.
Shut the valve close for the toilet itself. (The Little knob that attaches to your toilet behind the white throne.)
Fill that bowl and tank up as high as you can comfortably risk it with water.
Plop 5-6 denture cleanser tablets in your tank on the back of your toilet.
Plop plop fizz fizz 3-4 more in the bowl in the morning before you leave for work or a vacation.*
8 hours minimum allowance to soak and activate the tablets powers.**
Open the valve when you return.
Enjoy the minty fresh clean bowl without scrubbing.
I do this once a week now to ease the scrubbing demand. It is still recommended to scrub with the toilet cleansers once a day, but this will take the effort of scrubbing down from Macbeth "out damn spot", to sweeping a lazy cat into the dustpan bin.
*I do not recommend doing it overnight because you'll do what I did once and go piss in your clean bowl, then flood your bathroom flushing the clean tank water, with your overfull bowl water. In your just-woke-up fugue state and have a panic.
**If you have roommates let them know you're cleaning the toilet and the time required to let the denture cleansers do their magic. Try to coordinate the best day to do it. If you have more than one bathroom, make sure to have a sign up to warn others not to use the one your cleaning.
Note: if you live in an area with hard water (scale 3 or above) the denture cleansers will also separate the hard minerals in the water. Do not be shocked or scared if there are particulates at the bottom of the bowl when you go to flush. That's not bacteria or toxins or anything. Its mostly calcium and magnesium, that's safe to drink.
How to clean your Toilet if you have Mold and can't scrub: Vinegar and Soap
Shut the valve close for the toilet itself (the little knob that attaches the water hose to your toilet)
Mix 8 cups of vinegar (distilled white/pure vinegar, apple cider works in a pinch) with 2 teaspoon of liquid soap (dawn works best).
Pour 4 cups of your vinegar mixture into the tank and 4 cups into the bowl
Fill the remaining space with additional water.
Allow mixture to soak for 8 hours.
Open the valve when 8 hours are up
Enjoy the fact that you have successfully killed the mold in the toilet
Note: This works because you're essentially changing the chemical environment the mold is growing in from an ammonia/hydrating rich paradise to an acidic grease lubricating hellscape. If there is mold elsewhere like your walls, a pure vinegar spray will work just fine.
WARNING: Do not do this immediately before or after the denture cleansers to prevent chemical reactions from harming you or your toilet. Give it one day to air out.
HEALTH SAFETY NOTICE: If you have to do this more than once every other month (bi-monthly), you should consider replacing your toilet and getting a mold specialist in your home, to investigate the source and to decided how to tackle a mold problem that could be making your home a fungal danger.
How to clean the lid/seat without too much scrubbing: Disinfectant spray or alcohol/bleach.
No need to turn valves off for this part
Just grab a disinfectant spray like the one pictured above.
Spray every surface of the toilet (soak the seat and lid).
Make sure to get underneath the seat/lid good.
Wipe with a warm washcloth.
If you're using alcohol/bleach:
Get your 90% proof or higher alcohol (I use vodka personally) or bleach
Mix it at a 1:9 ratio (one part bleach/alcohol : nine parts water)
Fill a squirt bottle and make sure to label it as "disinfectant" witht he ratio you're using for safety.
Spray every surface of the toilet (soak the seat and lid).
Make sure to get underneath the seat/lid good.
Wipe with a warm washcloth.
Again like mold: this works because your changing the environment from friendly to hostile for any bacteria/virus/mold that may have been moved by the vacuum forces the toilet splashes up and out.
It's not clean if you don't address every part of the toilet that comes into consistent bodily contact. The back of the toilet tank you can spray and let it air dry. The external part of the toilet bowl too. It's the internals that collect the bacteria and mold the most, which requires more effort to clean using the tricks listed above.
If you are at all sensitive to chemical smells wear a mask when you do these things. Keep the fan in the room on at all times to ventilate the space. Open a window if possible. Time it so you can leave to do work or shopping while the chemicals disinfect your toilet for you.
Go now my peeps, and clean the most transferable disease spot in your home with the confidence of a 1960's housewife with an MRS degree!
WOOOHOOOO!!! THE TIME FOR CLEANING IS NOW!!!! Thank you so much I’m not GREAT at cleaning but this is gonna help a LOT!!!
