#typical stuff

i truly want to weigh 100 pounds. i know its unhealthy. i dont give a damn. i wish these pills were stronger so i could go days without eating. if i die so what

i want to starve i want to be thin i want to see my bones i wish i had the willpower to not eat

im trying i really am i didnt do it today i need to think of ways to keep myself away from food

i know ive gained weight this week and it honestly makes me suicidal

like i wasted a whole week a whole week when i could have been not eating i chose to eat and now im paying for it and i havent even lost anything

there is literally a doctor helping me adn theres so much pressure becasuse my mom and dad are doing it with me so if i fall behind its ebcause im gross and im disgusting and fat and im the one failing at the diet

i had a panic attack when we started this thing adn to date its the most embarassing thing ive ever done seriously i cant even handle the idea of a diet im that fucking weak i dont deserve to eat

i dont care how much it hurts 

i say that now but honestly im just being dramatic because i know tomorrow the second i feel hungry ill just be crawling back to the fridge eating again

and even worse they put me on a low carb diet so im constantly eating greasy nasty disgusting foods that i know wont aid me any

i want small legs i want girls to be jealous of my figure i want to turn heads i want a thigh gap i want tiny wrists i want a flat stomach but instead im the butt of jokes

im the “oh not fat like you i mean like 300 fuckin pounds like a real poker a fucking obese morbidly so” well jokes on me im 320 lbs im literally the thing that people warn against the “no girl wants to end up like her”