People are so quick to defend and criticize and attack people who say “autistic people aren’t dumb” and then someone else will follow it up by saying “but some are! Intellectually disabled people deserve to be talked about” and that quite frankly, gives me the ick.
Intellectually disabled people aren’t dumb unless they say they are. Grouping all of them into the “dumb” category is harmful. You’re further stigmatizing intellectually disabled people. Some intellectually disabled people are very smart, and like to be called smart, and like to be noticed as that. Some are average, and like to be acknowledged as that. Some are below average, and “dumb” and some like to be acknowledged as that. BUT that is their choice. That is no one’s choice but their own.
Grouping intellectually disabled people into “dumb people” is harmful. Yes, some of us embrace the word, but some of us don’t.
Stop further stigmatizing the disorder. Most people see intellectually disabled people as “dumb”. It’s time to start taking intellectually disabled people into consideration. If someone says something like that? Simply correct them on their ableist and ignorant behavior. Don’t drag intellectually disabled people into the “dumb” category. That isn’t needed.
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This isn't my usual typing style or a typical post for me to make, but I'd like to spread awareness in system spaces about something important today. Many pro endogenic communities, especially syscord, use a specific method to entrap traumagenic systems into their spaces, and I haven't heard anyone mention it before. This post is for awareness on this matter! There's a trigger warning for ableism and manipulation going forward.
I've noticed a lot of pro endogenic servers have extensive, strictly enforced blacklists / trigger lists. They go from more niche topics, like mentions of electronics being short circuited, into common things, like emoticons and symbols. I, a recently traumatized teen with a lot of severe, common triggers of the sort, found refuge in these servers, and I wasn't the only one to.
If someone is triggered by something tiny, like a smiley, common symbol, emoticon, etc, then they are going to be triggered in daily life in many cases. This will, after enough time, lead to desensitization to a trigger. This principle is what exposure therapies are based around. Shielding someone will undeniably make the real world harder to go to due to lack of desensitization, regardless on your view of the sheltering or the communities doing it.
I sympathize heavily with people with small or odd triggers, as I have been one myself. Creating safe spaces is fine— great, even! Creating large safe spaces where everyone's triggers, no matter how tiny, are respected, will eventually get people accustomed to that type of treatment. They'll get used to having their triggers avoided and won't get properly desensitized, which will make spaces outside the safe space, such as real life or other communities, harder to go to. It's a trap. Not everyone will fall into it, of course, but I fell hard. Even if this winds up to not be an issue or worth worry, if this prevents at least one person from getting stuck in so called 'safe spaces', I'll be really, really happy. Thanks for reading!
Just found a cryptotwerf under a transmisogyny post with the r slur in their bio on a post about transmasculinity. Isn't it strange how that tag constantly seems to attract extremely bigoted people? 🤔
Today someone compared seeing a person with a limb difference doing amazing makeup to seeing a dog walk on two legs. When I called that incredibly ableist, they said "be confident with your disability. It's obvious it's a deep insecurity of yours that you're projecting on others. I feel sorry for you."
.... And I just uh what? First the able bodied person compare disabled people to a dog then lectures a disabled person on how to be disabled. I just uhhh....cannot.
// fakeclaiming rant + ableism/sanism + caps + minor talk of stalking
Endos and singlets fakeclaiming other systems because of a high amount of comorbidies or even just a single stigmatized comorbid disorder piss me off so so so bad
They're a system, they have trauma, of course their brains are gonna react funky to that how the fuck do you think they became a system in the first place???
Why are you surprised when a system has ptsd, any cluster b disorder, other dissociative disorders, aspd, autism, adhd, etc etc etc
Especially because iirc autism and ADHD make you likely to develop MORE disorders from trauma!!
Don't even get me started on those who fakeclaim psychotic systems because they experience delusions, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! LEARN HOW SCHIZOPHRENIA AND PSYCHOSIS WORK BEFORE YOU SPREAD YOUR UNEDUCATED BULLSHIT!!! PPL WITH PSYCHOSIS CAN BE COMORBID AND NOT BE AUTOMATICALLY FAKING IT.
There's also people who go "omg I wish I had your trauma!!" (usually in response to stalking, and usually romanticizing/sexualizing it) but if I start on that we'll here all day. Just going to leave it at this: one time we say someone call a fellow victim of stalking "lucky" for being stalked. For two years straight.
Endos and fakeclaimers go fuck yourself I'm sffr.
- 🍖🌾 (if I'm allowed to claim this)
oh, yeah this sucks. Fakeclaimers are the worst, having co-morbid disorders is common,, that's why they're co-morbid. Being a system and experiencing delusions or psychosis is valid and if anyone thinks otherwise I'd like them to leave this blog
And yeah,, that sucks. Don't sexualize or romanticise others trauma. If it's your own trauma then I guess it's fine?? I mean I won't judge people for how they cope though I'd prefer they keep it offline, but when it comes to other people please leave them alone :(
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Are you fucking kidding me? Now we're lumping Autism, Parkinson's, and Alzheimer's together? Two literal degenerative brain diseases, with someone god forbid not thinking and acting the way you think they should. I fucking hate it here. Yes autism is a disability - and we don't need to do everything we can to make it go away. We need to *gasp* make accommodations.
Edit: Shit, sorry for the lack of alt text, it's added now
I absolutely fucking hate that there's only one meme repaint mod for ddlc and said mod is ableist as fuck, they legit use autism as an insult and it's infuriating, specially as an autistic person, the only good thing about that mod is waluigi having Monika's role since he looked hot as fuck but it really fucking sucks how shitty the mod in general is
I just wanna make my own repaint mod for the game out of spite but also to practice with modding
1. Your content is very helpful, big thanks for answering questions so thoroughly!
I have aspd+npd and adhd.
cd in childhood ✔️
So I started therapy again, had my 3 visits to get-to-know-eachother and soon will have weekly or so appointments.
Now she ain’t really familiar with cluster b (I know I know…), but no other therapist in my area takes new patients or is familiar with the topic either.
Now today I told her about my diagnosis’s straightforward and she’s all about “not labeling symptoms as diagnosis’s”, she’s an in depth-psychotherapy psychologist and works with the NVC nonviolent communication concept by Marshall Rosenberg *deep sigh*
“Based on the teachings of Sigmund Freud, traditional psychoanalysis deals with the reconstruction of long-repressed memories, while depth psychology focuses primarily on the "present conscious".”
Now I know I will have to withhold my “I know better about this” reactions to some degree, I told her about cluster b treatment being specific and a lot of other disorders have same/similar symptoms aka having labels like aspd&npd IS HELPFUL CUZ NOW YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE WORKING WITH?? (+do precise research)
but we talked a little bit about me experiencing npd shame and she was like: “well that contradicts itself, you cannot have aspd and experience shame, aspd lacks that & you appear to be a nice lady anyway” *implodes*
The mocking laugh I had to withhold omg.
Now going by the books at least >3 symptoms have to be present & I have more than that.
Everyone experiences it differently, idk if it’s even considered somewhat of a spectrum?
And I HAVE THE LITERAL DIAGNOSIS ANYWAY.
Like what does she not get about me ALSO HAVING NPD COMORBID?! and shame being the core of NPD?
Now… I’ll probably stay with her for a while (if I have the self control) since I really need therapy to some degree at least, cuz things suck big time right now.
And my question is how to teach her her job and explain the aspd&npd comorbid stuff to her and that labels do play a role here? Idk just overall advice?
End of frustration rant🤦🏻♀️
-K
Thank you, I do my best!
TW, all caps text in the response (not aggressive, in a surprised/reaction way)
I'm just... gonna liveblog my response to this bc I have so many feelings on this therapist already and I have barely read 1/4 of the ask yet.
Not being familiar with cluster b pds actually isn't always a bad thing. I will happily take unfamiliar over some of the so called specialists in that area who believe in "narc abuse" and the like. I generally recommend people who think/know they have ASPD to seek out therapists in the range of trauma specialists over cluster b specialists for that reason.
Ugh, I can't stand the "I don't like labels/diagnoses" therapists enough already when they're referring to new ones while in their care, but to say that to someone who is telling you about a dx they already have is a new low.
Not the Freud! Not the "present conscious"! Gross gross all around imo. If that works for some of you that is awesome but I can't stomach that kind of therapist just for me personally.
Reconstruction of repressed memories is tricky because if they don't handle that right it is a very sensitive moment for them to fuck up/say something shitty, so I personally prefer to let those bubble up naturally, but because I have DID (oh ya, that official dx happened btw) they are more likely to bubble up for me than for a singlet. It makes sense to me that singlets would want a therapist for that.
OH DEAR FUCK I DID NOT THINK IT COULD GET WORSE. Ok so unpacking that - pwASPD absolutely experience shame, which is extremely common in traumatized people of any variety. In fact, shame is a very common symptom of PTSD. Remorse and shame are not only not the same, but they are so far removed from each other than even most ableist prosocials know and admit that those two are not even in the same family.
The "you appear to be a nice lady" is the icing on the "Get the fuck rid of this therapist if you can" cake for me, because it reeks of ableism and sexism at the same time. AFABs often have their symptoms of ASPD ignored entirely or intentionally mis-attributed to autism or BPD because they just cannot fathom an AFAB not thinking like a lady. ASPD is demonized and AFABs are infantilized and their tiny prosocial brains blow up because those two cannot co-exist.
I, to be quite honest, would chuck her in the unfixable pile. I wish I could give you advice on this, but there is just too much ableism, sexism, and ignorance in how she reacted in just this single interaction you described for me to think she's salvagable. When it's one little thing you can sometimes teach them/get them to learn with you - even though that is literally the opposite of what therapy is supposed to be - and get something good out of it, but with all of this I think it presents a much larger risk to you to try.
If you can't switch any time soon, I would try and stick to discussing non-cluster b issues as much as possible.
I can not and do not give professional advice because I am not a professional and in good conscience, I can't advise leaving one therapist without a direct plan on how and when to get another one ASAP. But I will say that specifically in relation to cluster b disorders, this therapist sounds like she will be more damaging than anything for that. That doesn't mean that she can't help with other conditions or stressors you're experiencing in the meantime, though!
Plain text below the cut:
Thank you, I do my best!
TW, all caps text in the response (not aggressive, in a surprised/reaction way)
I'm just... gonna liveblog my response to this bc I have so many feelings on this therapist already and I have barely read 1/4 of the ask yet.
Not being familiar with cluster b pds actually isn't always a bad thing. I will happily take unfamiliar over some of the so called specialists in that area who believe in "narc abuse" and the like. I generally recommend people who think/know they have ASPD to seek out therapists in the range of trauma specialists over cluster b specialists for that reason.
Ugh, I can't stand the "I don't like labels/diagnoses" therapists enough already when they're referring to new ones while in their care, but to say that to someone who is telling you about a dx they already have is a new low.
Not the Freud! Not the "present conscious"! Gross gross all around imo. If that works for some of you that is awesome but I can't stomach that kind of therapist just for me personally.
Reconstruction of repressed memories is tricky because if they don't handle that right it is a very sensitive moment for them to fuck up/say something shitty, so I personally prefer to let those bubble up naturally, but because I have DID (oh ya, that official dx happened btw) they are more likely to bubble up for me than for a singlet. It makes sense to me that singlets would want a therapist for that.
OH DEAR FUCK I DID NOT THINK IT COULD GET WORSE. Ok so unpacking that - pwASPD absolutely experience shame, which is extremely common in traumatized people of any variety. In fact, shame is a very common symptom of PTSD. Remorse and shame are not only not the same, but they are so far removed from each other than even most ableist prosocials know and admit that those two are not even in the same family.
The "you appear to be a nice lady" is the icing on the "Get the fuck rid of this therapist if you can" cake for me, because it reeks of ableism and sexism at the same time. AFABs often have their symptoms of ASPD ignored entirely or intentionally mis-attributed to autism or BPD because they just cannot fathom an AFAB not thinking like a lady. ASPD is demonized and AFABs are infantilized and their tiny prosocial brains blow up because those two cannot co-exist.
I, to be quite honest, would chuck her in the unfixable pile. I wish I could give you advice on this, but there is just too much ableism, sexism, and ignorance in how she reacted in just this single interaction you described for me to think she's salvagable. When it's one little thing you can sometimes teach them/get them to learn with you - even though that is literally the opposite of what therapy is supposed to be - and get something good out of it, but with all of this I think it presents a much larger risk to you to try.
If you can't switch any time soon, I would try and stick to discussing non-cluster b issues as much as possible.
I can not and do not give professional advice because I am not a professional and in good conscience, I can't advise leaving one therapist without a direct plan on how and when to get another one ASAP. But I will say that specifically in relation to cluster b disorders, this therapist sounds like she will be more damaging than anything for that. That doesn't mean that she can't help with other conditions or stressors you're experiencing in the meantime, though!
