"まめっち"

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anatomy/biology things (generally for the species)

hatched from an egg, theres literally no evidence for this but i think its fun. species lays like one or two large eggs at a time and looks freakin stupid as a baby. like altricial baby birds

also none of them have boobs. there is nothing to confirm or contradict this either. their anatomy just non-mammalian in a lot of regards

the species IS noticeably taller than like. rayman on average. and since ed is the same height as rayman, that just means, again, that ed is really short & most people just tower over him

oh right they can have hair. but it seems common enough to be bald

about half of them are purple. the other half will tend to be yellow or green or cyan, or basically any other hue tbh. i like to think its treated about as remarkable as hair and eye color is for us, just harder to change if you dont like it i dont know for THEIR hair color though. weve only seen yellow(?), brownish orange and purplish blueish this is influenced by the japanese ed skin btw, and the crowds in the intro, the purple one has yellow hair

skin color is hereditary but will mix up with different color parents and sometimes kids might have other hues anyways. i have no explanation for why purple is the most common color and the rest individually have a much smaller chance, some genetic malarkey?

theyre able to digest and process pretty much any food from earth with no issues. AND plastic conversely, the tonic seems to have the opposite effect, where ed thinks of it as "this beer SUCKS TERRIBLY" and several people on earth are like "this beer KICKS ASS"

i dont know how committed i am to giving ed a syrinx like a bird (based on a joke i made about one of my clips where he played 2 WOOUUAAAA voice clips at the same time) but thats something

the weird shoe spikes is legs btw. that part isnt headcanon, that is pretty much actually what it is. anyway since theyre not even attached to the torso, all they seem to do is give ed ankles to obliterate by tripping on some slippery floor (that he himself made slippery)

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i had been thinking about his family too. first of all his mom is this (i have no explanation for the apparent sleeves)

his mom is nices to him : ) just a bit confused about his career choice. frequently calls him on the interstellar phone because theyre usually away from one another physically (cuz ed lives on a spaceship). anyway visually ed mostly took after her, minus the hair, but he wound up being even shorter than her somehow

conversely eds dad is quite disappointed in him 1) turning out so tiny and scrawny 2) also becoming a damn janitor (ed picked such a job specifically on a spaceship, believing that itd be more respectable than being a janitor on their planet (and it excited him more anyway), but it still didnt help). his dad looks roughly like both super ed and the general at the same time

the reason he looks like the general is that thats just eds uncle LOL. this was a connection that i made because his face textures (which are in. rayman 2 lol) are based on eds (old) face textures, so they have the exact same spot pattern on the face (this is definitely not canon or at all intended, its just texture reuse)

anyway the general is also quite disappointed in his useless nephew, who happened to end up working in the same spaceship and getting in Situations (which inevitably become the general's problem as well). as you can imagine its a rather awkward relationship

ed also has a few older, way more successful siblings, who arent disappointments to their dad. i dont have any specifics beyond this. ed is straight up the runt of the litter, basically

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misc things

his goal with a relationship is just to be with a girl, or just someone at this point (again he doesnt realise hes bi) that will be act nice to him and they will act nice at each other and kissies probably. like he will just so easily fall for any girl that acts nice enough to him (suzy)

he is remarkably confident at confessing hes into someone and wants to date. theres no shyness he just goes for it. it just never works out for him anyways

him acting so cocky over nothing a lot of the time is just him trying to get people to believe hes cool and respectable, and not some tiny loser thats easy to pick on. like this is the entire reason he acts so smug sometimes. so of course it doesnt really work and most people still view him as a bumbling idiot

like. so much of what he does is trying to get people to believe hes much cooler and less pathetic than he actually is. hes very bulliable

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more miscellaneous!!! pasted from discord with typo fixes. heres on age

you think people keep thinking eds like 15 becasue hes really short and has a squeaky voice. and he has to keep telling them "IM AN ADULT!!! I HAVE A JOB!!!"

more on relationship issues

while im in the mood to ramble i thought yesterday or so (more headcanons) that i think suzy definitely was into him primarily because he was meeting all the requirements of "Aim in life: To find the person who will restore the planet, allowing hair salons and fashion shops to re-open. To marry this hero and appear on magazine covers." and like. she didnt even like him for who he was (hence the "promise youll become a muscleman" thing) so like. after the games events i think this is not meant to last. unfortunate for the little purple man who im still insistent on blasting with relationship issues i dont think he would even match her freak anyways

[they also broke up because they were both like 20 and thus stupid and immature, alongside just not being compatible]

somewhat adjacent (+ i dont think the general is like. evil. mostly just uncaring about what the customers are doing with their products cuz i think the ship just really needs funds, i dont know why they have a killer mech in the first place though)

my headcanon was actually that razorbeard really tried to hide that he bought a shiny new toy that rayman immediately destroyed because it was a tremendous loss and he thinks razorwife would kill him if she learnt how much money he just wasted for nothing. of course she already knows she just complains about it to everyone else.i forgot to send that and the general comes back with his big ol treasure chest that he didnt count any of becase he cant count. and hes like I Have Brought Back One Million Space Bucks Or Something. ed still doesnt know they just sold a giant killer mech he literally just got here

somewhat reiteraing some earlier points here (featuring my friends replies)

i kept forgetting to say this yesterday but it really hit me that albatros whatever theyre doing is like. exploring around for space trinkets or Science Research i guess. so basically what i do in space stage in spore is just pick up trinkets to sell off. except theyre also selling murder violence mechs to people but thats besides the point so i considered some things with that in context. one is that eds parents i dont think would actually be on the spaceship then as i kinda thought (even if ed still had his own apartment) i think theyre just back home on their planet second is that. you bet ed thought like. being a janitor There Specifically would still be more prestigious like hey thats going around doing cool things in space right like it just feels more important only to be continuously disrespected by everyone anyways like it doesnt matter the new (not new at all it just really hit me recently) context also makes the fact that. burk literally just lives here even funnier. he just freakin lives there i dont think he even has a job [about the parents mention] that also makes some more sense with the framed picture of what is most likely his mom in the website thing of the inside of his brain speaking of the bg the funny thing about the magazine is ilke. thats a human man from earth. where did you get that ed (alien)

> do you think he just. Got this during the events of the game > off screen its just funny cuz the tomato and guard being there points to that being during the events of the game but i dont think he particularly had a lot of time to just get out of his way to get this although. he is known for not doing his job and getting distracted doing nonsense (im also known for this) > real > just randomly came across it in crazy town or whatever thinking itd be good to get > some souvenirs or something and grabbed that he just went somewhere in the village and picked it up instead of going to some level. reads it and gets incredibly startled by suzy hovering over him going Um ed honey ? Arent you supposed to be in glacier cocktail right now > vaguely points out what eds even holding but ed just goes “woah whats wrong” and she just goes “nothing its fine” he doesnt even see it as anything weird

talking

more random thinikng about this purple thing. i havent gotten a solid grasp on it yet but i still really like the idea of ed speaking more flowery just habitually. he does so much fantasizing and planning out what to say to pretty girls that its just seeped into his normal speech i also dont have a solid grasp on how that would actually look like but the idea is there

^ like he believes that speaking more eloquently with more fancy adjectives is gonna get girls to like him better, but that doesnt really work and most of them just think its really corny and lame. he still does it habitually though

another thing that made me have an epiphany on why hes like this (ie acting cool to try and hide the fact that hes a loser)