#trans guide

I highly recommend chatting with a gender affirming therapist before beginning your transition with HRT, though many don’t. Companies like Folx Health provide the support of encouraging, knowledgeable nurse practitioners along with your meds which are shipped to you anywhere in the United States. "For many trans femmes and other gender-variant people, introducing estrogen into their bodies allows people to truly feel their feelings in a body that feels more like home to them, especially during the first year. This can manifest in a variety of ways, including feeling like your moods are bigger or more expansive. Estrogen mood changes can also look like an improved emotional and mental health because gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT) can greatly alleviate gender dysphoria, affirm gender identity, and improve your overall quality of life."

Reposted from Bluesky.

Items I Was Glad I Bought Before Hand:

- Shower head with a hand shower attachment.

- Drain holder (this one) :: my surgeon even said this was the best idea he'd seen, and I was the first person he saw have it. It's basically a fanny pack for your drains. It keeps them out of your way and helps from them being pulled or caught on anything.

- Mastectomy pillow. :: You can find these on etsy. Mine was my best friend for about 3 months.

- Comfortable chair. :: I slept so much better in a chair for the first month. I couldn't get up from a laying down position by myself. I have a wonderful recliner that we just put right next to the bed.

- A large squish that you can cuddle :: I know this one is weird, BUT if you’re like me and you baby injuries this will actually be a big help. I would not touch or let anyone else touch my chest unless I absolutely had to for about a month. I was terrified of touching it. (I know I have an anxiety disorder, we’re working on it.) However, I had a 10” kuchi kopi squish that I was obsessed with. One day about a month in, I found myself squishing it on my chest with quite a bit of pressure without any pain or discomfort. So I started using that a few times a day to get me used to letting things touch my chest. ((Recommended by my partner))

- Button shirts! :: You will not be able to get a shirt over your head. (Hell getting anything on will be a problem, but the shirt was all but impossible for me.)

- Maxi pads, the bigger the better. :: These were great for over bandages under my binder. They protected me from the zipper and clasps. It was just cheap padding.

- Non stick anti microbial pads. :: These were put directly onto the incisions after we cleaned them and put Aquaphor on them. Also you will need so many of these. We would go through a pack a day at least for a month, so stock up. These were so much more comfortable than anything else. I didn't even know these existed, and a nurse friend bought them for me.

- So much Aquaphor.

Thing I Wasn't Aware of That Should've Been VERY Clear:

- You will have a post-op binder. It will have a zipper AND clasps (like on a bra) and it will be the bane of your fucking existence. Nothing pissed me off more than having to wear it, mostly because I had NO clue it was coming. (Ok I knew it was coming but I didn’t think it would be a zipper and clasps that would dig into fresh incisions. This is why the maxi pads are such a must)

- You don't have to do nipple grafts! Nipple grafts are a TON of work, and don't always take. There are a lot of options out there now! I decided I didn't need nipples at all, and I love how my chest looks now. They also have nipple prosthetics that you can customize.

- I had a nurse tell me I should be raising my arms above my head after the first week, and THAT WAS FALSE. I reached out to a friend that had been through this before in tears after three weeks saying it hurt to try to raise my arms above my head. He explained after three weeks was when he started stretching his arms, and I was WAY ahead of the curve, and I was lucky I hadn't ripped anything. ((Partner Addition))

- Eating and drinking will feel different. I FREAKED out the first time I had ice water. It felt so cold on my skin when it went past my throat. I refused to eat or drink anything that wasn't room temperature for about two weeks, because I didn't know it was coming and it gave me bad anxiety.

Quick Tips:

- Make sure everything you could think of needing is at chest level. Nothing was worse than needing something on a shelf (at eye level) I couldn't reach.

- Have things to do that pass the time that don't require a lot of movement. Books, games, anything you can keep in your lap that doesn't require lifting your arms.

- Don't take the drains out yourself if you have the option. They sew them into your skin, and the person that helped me had to cut them out. It was just not a good time. I highly recommend having someone help you if you have the option. Or just have your surgeon remove them for you if you can.

- Have easy to eat/easy to open snacks available, especially if you're going to be alone for a long period of time.

- Make sure toilet paper is close to the toilet. You will not be able to reach for things! Nothing is more awful than not being able to wipe your own ass, because the TP is too far away.

- A person there is so helpful too. I don't know what I would've done without my partner. They helped me shower, dress, get up from laying down. They helped me clean and dress my incisions. They dumped my drains for me. I was so lucky to have them in my life at that point. I know others aren't lucky enough to have a partner like them in their life, but having someone to help out for a few weeks will be invaluable, even if it's an hour a day to help you do things.

- Like me, you might need a revision. Mine was included with my original surgery, meaning I don't have to pay anything for this! Make sure you know your surgeon's revision policies. I have a tiny pouch under my arm that I'm getting removed. It should take an hour, and I'll be awake for it, which is going to suck, but I didn't have to worry about finding money for it (just the time).

The number one tip to remember when practising a masculine voice, is to think about it like instead of your voice projecting from up in your head or just generally upward in your body, make it like you're speaking from deep in your chest or down low in your body. If your voice comes from your chest, it projects louder, and deeper. Always try to concentrate on this concept when trying to be projecting your voice masculinely.

Every day at least, if not every hour, or every few minutes; put on a song or voice clip of someone who has a very deep voice, and practise it. I find it helps to start out with higher voices, and slowly lower it down until I can sing very low pitch songs. This stretches your vocal chords and makes it so you can permanently have a masculine voice range that you can hit, pre-T or post-T. I find songs are helpful because they're fun, and you can hear the tone you're supposed to be hitting easily.

Practise every day, if not all the time, like the one above, with this vocal exercise; lean your head all the way back as you can, and take a big breath, then hum with your deepest voice, with a big breath always taken in so you can hum for as long as you can. Slowly, bring your head straight, then your chin down to your chest, while still humming. You can hear it go down deeper as you make this motion. Return it slowly upward to the previous position, and repeat this exercise over and over with the deepest hum you can get. You can also do the hum with your mouth open. You can also alternate between mouth open and mouth closed, which seems to work best out of any strategy. Doing this stretches and exercises the vocal chords to be permanently masculinized--where you can hit that range that you never could before. When you first do it especially, but also every time, it will make you sound like you have the deepest voice ever for a few seconds. This is an effect similar to helium that raises your vocal pitch, but the opposite where it makes it deeper, so it will go away. But if you make this exercise a constant thing, practising at the least several times a day, then you will have permanently masculinized your vocal chords, and you'll end up being able to hit that deep baritone, when it was completely inaccessible before.

Most men that are cisgender usually speak with an inflection downward, whilst most women that are cis usually speak with an inflection upward, to sound more friendly and make their tone less aggressive. If you wish to pass more vocal-wise, try making your sentences end with a lower note then you started, rather than the reverse. This doesn't mean to put on an angry voice, you can still sound friendly, but just try to keep it chill sounding if that makes sense.

Try to kick the "Polite Voice". This basically means; have you ever notised that someone will have a deep or regular voice normally, but then when calling someone on the phone or talking to an employee somewhere, to be professional they will have a very very high tone of voice? If you have, you know what I mean. It also happens to people when they are talking to pets that they find cute, or young children. This is fine for people who are cis, but for trans men it makes it very hard, because your voice automatically is seemingly against your control. My best advice is to just try to train yourself out of it, though I know that's easier said than done. It instantly makes you sound feminine which is the opposite of what you want. Try to consciously and actively change your voice to deeper tones when interacting with people or animals who you usually would raise your voice tone to high for.

Lastly, if you're not comfortable vocal training by yourself for whatever reason, you can either; A. hire a vocal coach for transgender people, or B; You can download an app that can help you and guide you through it as well as remind you to practise, and C. There are also videos of how to do so, if my explanation was confusing. Try looking online for these resources, if you need them!

That concludes this article--thank you for reading, and I hope I could help in any way!

                               Writing a Trans Character                         As Experienced by a Trans Man

With more resources coming out for trans faceclaims, I wanted to make sure that there were also more guides on how to write a trans character. So I’m going to be sharing my personal experience with gender as a (very extensive and detailed) toolset for those that haven’t/aren’t questioning their identity. Please keep in mind that this is entirely based off of my personal experience and growth, and that every trans person has their own journey with their own experiences. None are invalid and all are equally as important. This also wound up turning into more of a gender study as well, so feel free to share and message about your thoughts. I’d love to have gender discussions!

 Part One                Part Two The Early Signs   |  Mislabeling

The Trans Experience Guide  ™  by HedwigofRPH

Hello, I’m your host, Hansel, and this is the first in a series of articles specifically designed to help RPers who write or write with trans characters understand a little more about them. I consider myself uniquely qualified over the majority of roleplay helpers in that I am trans (I identify as genderqueer.)

Disclaimer:  At no point am I claiming to know all the answers or that all trans people will agree or disagree with what I’ve written as the trans community is one of many varying opinions and peoples. If you disagree with something written here, please send me an ask explaining what part you take umbrage with and why and I’ll do my best to correct the misinformation and/or explain myself.

Without further ado: the first on Identities.

1. Just simply treat us like regular human beings. This means don't be assholes, and don't be fetishizers.

Trans people are just like anyone, their brain just happened to form in a different way than their body did in the womb.

If you treat them with the same respect that you treat everyone else, you're doing right.

Don't be that person who asks if they had surgery, and what their genitals look & looked like, and all those personal questions that are maaaybe well meaning but come off creepy as fuck.

2. Take their name & pronouns seriously!!

If someone is trans, even if they don't look like the gender they are, try not to ever misgender them.

This can be mental anguish for a lot of people who are trans.

There are a lot of trans people who look perfect, yes, but there are also a lot of trans people who don't pass whatsoever.

If you just support the beautiful trans people and not the unconventionally attractive ones, that counts as transphobia because it implies they're not real men / women unless they look like them exactly.

And it's okay if you mess up on their pronouns and/or name sometimes, it's just an accident.

The only time you're an asshole is if you're doing it on purpose to be mean.

3. Ask questions!

The most important thing you can do is gain as much knowledge on the subject as you can.

Do this by researching yourself, and also by talking to the person, and asking them about any questions or confusions you have.

Almost all of the time no one minds being asked, and you are in fact showing you respect them and want to know how to show them your respect.

4. A nice thing to do that's become very popular as of late, is when meeting someone, asking their pronouns.

Such as she/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/theirs.

This way you never misgender someone by accident, and it shows that you're friendly to those who are trans.

You can even support this movement yourself by not only doing this, but also putting your own pronouns in your biography on social media, spreading the likelihood of people putting more in, which means way more people get gender fulfilled and makes it a common thing to give strangers respect of their gender!

5. This is yet the most important rule of all.

Don't be a coward.

Stand up to injustice when you see it, no matter what.

If a trans or gay or otherwise LGBT+ person is being bullied, attacked, r*ped, or anything of the sort, either help them yourself quickly or get help for them as soon as possible, and speak up loudly, protecting them whilst also not drowning out their own voice and their experiences. I've known some trans people who have cried after I defended them online from hateful people, and as a fellow trans person I know that feeling.

The feeling of someone having your back,even a stranger, can mean so much.

Also stand up for LGBT+ people even when no one is listening. Even when a single person that's LGBT+ isn't there.

Stand up for them always, not just conditionally.

This rule is important to me personally, due to one of my ex-best friends, at the time best friend, letting me get harshly abused verbally by someone who is transphobic in their family, and they stood around and did nothing whilst I cried.

That's pretty much a textbook case of what not to do. Lol.

6. When you notice they're feeling dysphoric about their bodies, try and remind them of the traits that they like and the traits that they will have in the future (if they go on HRT that is)

things like calling them 'handsome', 'dude', 'bro', 'milady', 'miss', all these different nicknames can be cathartic for trans people who might have never been called those terms before, or very rarely.

Obviously you're not expected to know every whim of your trans friend, or any friend, but if you see them actively upset, this is a very sweet thing to do that can cheer them up very quickly.

7. Even if you do not understand it at all, and can't comprehend the transgender concept whatsoever, please try your best to think of where your loved one is coming from.

Sometimes it's hard to see the pain they go through, so you may assume nothing is going on, and that they're going through a phase, or faking it, but that is usually very untrue/unlikely.

And even if they are going through a phase, if you support them, that will make all the difference and they'll remember that the rest of their lives, even if they do grow out of it, which is extremely rare so it's unlikely in the first place.

What matters is having each other's backs, even if not understanding everything.

Not everything is meant to be understood by everyone. People come from wildly different generations and cultural backgrounds and it makes sense that it would be hard for some, but it,'s so important to try!

8. This is a small, cute optional thing, but if they're in the closet and unable to use their real name anywhere, try taking them somewhere like Starbucks where they get to have their name written on their cup.

I know that might sound funny, but it was one of my favourite moments in my life when I saw my new name correctly on my Starbucks cup.

Little things like that can really boost your mood!

Just a random thought, but I thought I'd add it in.

9. If you're close with them, make sure they practise self-care and wellbeing.

Trans people are known especially to have very high suicide rates, over 50% of trans people have attempted suicide, so it's extremely important to make sure your trans friend is as supported as possible, so that they always have people to fall back on.

If needed, remind them to take showers, remind them to eat, and sleep, things like that.

This one mainly has to do with if you live with the person and know them well.

But even people you don't know them well, you can suggest self-care practises to them, or even put together a little care package of self care products, but make sure they're all natural!

10. A good way to train to use their pronouns and name correctly, is to think of them in your mind hard, and then repeat their new name and pronouns in your brain or aloud with the picture of them in your mind over and over for as long as you need every day or so.

Eventually this association will become so strong you'll automatically get it every time!

11. Most importantly, just be there for people in need.

Stand up for those without a voice, whilst giving them a voice. If you're one of the people out there who is not LGBT+ in any way, but is making an effort to learn about us,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

People like you are extravagantly rare, and so kind. And it definitely means you have an open badass mind.

Anyway, that concludes this article, please comment your thoughts!

Many more articles about being transgender I'll write in the future, and I'll post the ones I write soon.

Please feel free to check back at my account to see if I write any new ones or additions to previous articles!

Thank you for reading.