I was in a comment section a while ago on tiktok and the topic was how a lot of ppl are extremely touchy with their friends, which is obvs fine, but specifically how people expect everyone to be ok with that (being touched)
I brought up how I don't enjoy being casually (hugs, hand holding, stuff like that) touched by anyone I'm not romantically involved with. The replies I got to the comment non stop questioning and bashing me for being more comfortable being touched by a romantic partner than family. Someone even said it was a sign of either "severe mental illness or being self absorbed".
I mentioned to them that I only date people I have some sort of established relationship with and they still insisted that I would rather be physically affectionate with a stranger than family (nothing wrong with that anyways) and that that is a problem I need to solve. Explaining that I'm demiromantic also lead to people saying the "youre not special, everyone is like that" which I didn't care enough to explain why that's not true.
In my personal preferences I don't like being touched due to sensory issues, skin allergies, germs, and general dislike. Because of that i only allow those I am willing to essentially share germs with to touch me after a very boring conversation of my boundaries and many annoying allergies lol
This is touch normativity, ableism, and arophobia.
Why is it so hard for people to understand that touch can be a complicated subject for people? Not everyone is touch-favorable. Touch-repulsion, touch-aversion, touch-ambivalence, and touch-indifference exists too.
Additionally, not everyone has overlapping sensual and familial attraction.
Also, I hate when people say "everyone is like that" about demiromantic attraction, because its simply not true. So many people get romantic crushes on their peers without needing to form a close emotional bond first. So many alloromantics daydream and fantasize about kissing and dating and marrying people they've barely (or potentially haven't) spoken to.
