What are your thoughts on ABA therapy? I'm being pushed to do it and I don't want to. I'm going to do this therapy and a therapy for my sensory processing problems and I really don't want too. My mom says I need to do it otherwise I will end up being alone and a freak because "no one wants to be near freaks who keeps flapping their hands, doing that shit you do and being weird". I'm 16 years old, and every I try to stim she stops me. Then I have a meltdown and she gets mad. Help me please.
I am so so sorry that your mother treats you that way, first of all. What she said was incredibly disrespectful, ableist, and overall horrifying. You are not a freak for flapping your hands, and you are most certainly not alone. There is a whole community here to support you.
As for my view on ABA therapy, I am against it. I have not personally been subjected to this, but everything that I have read from the standpoint of an autistic subject has been extremely negative. ABA is based on the premise of operant conditioning, using positive reinforcement and punishments in order to coerce the subject into changing their behaviors. I feel like ABA is more focused on changing the little things that, in the end, donāt really matter. It doesnāt teach people how to cope, instead, it takes away autistic peoplesā methods of coping, such as stimming. Here are a few more knowledgeable perspectives on it:
https://www.youtube.com/user/neurowonderful(Amythest Schaber has a video about ABA therapy on her channel, along with other resources about autism.)
https://emmashopebook.com/2012/10/10/tackling-that-troublesome-issue-of-aba-and-ethics/
I would recommend trying to find out about the therapy consent laws for minors for wherever you live. Also, if you think your mother would be receptive to changing her mind about ABA therapy, then there are plenty of negative experiences in the autistic community to go around that you could show her. As someone who doesnāt have experience with this, Iām not sure what your alternatives are as a minor.
As for your mother stopping you from stimming, Iām not sure what methods you have tried as of yet, but here are a few discreet stims:-tapping your fingers against your leg/tapping your feet-rubbing your hands together or tracing shapes onto your hands-if you wear jewelry, thatās perfect to stim with. Rings you can take off and fidget with or spin on your finger. Necklaces can jingle and be fun to make shapes out of. Earring studs you can twist. Bracelets with beads that you can spin, or spin around your wrist.-Chewing gum-think of small things you could carry in your pockets that you could fidget with: dice, paper clips, marbles, etc.
If anyone has any advice on what anon can do to convince parental unit, cope with ABA, etc. then PLEASE add on to this! I hope I helped at least a little bit, anon. ā¤ļø