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itās good and Importantā¢ but sometimes after therapy thereās echos of sad when I uncover some awful self thoughts and then i just wanna curl up under a blanket and not deal w the world.
but i have my tea, and iām gonna just breathe for a bit before i go and run some errands
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What are your thoughts on ABA therapy? I'm being pushed to do it and I don't want to. I'm going to do this therapy and a therapy for my sensory processing problems and I really don't want too. My mom says I need to do it otherwise I will end up being alone and a freak because "no one wants to be near freaks who keeps flapping their hands, doing that shit you do and being weird". I'm 16 years old, and every I try to stim she stops me. Then I have a meltdown and she gets mad. Help me please.
I am so so sorry that your mother treats you that way, first of all. What she said was incredibly disrespectful, ableist, and overall horrifying. You are not a freak for flapping your hands, and you are most certainly not alone. There is a whole community here to support you.
As for my view on ABA therapy, I am against it. I have not personally been subjected to this, but everything that I have read from the standpoint of an autistic subject has been extremely negative. ABA is based on the premise of operant conditioning, using positive reinforcement and punishments in order to coerce the subject into changing their behaviors. I feel like ABA is more focused on changing the little things that, in the end, donāt really matter. It doesnāt teach people how to cope, instead, it takes away autistic peoplesā methods of coping, such as stimming. Here are a few more knowledgeable perspectives on it:
https://www.youtube.com/user/neurowonderful(Amythest Schaber has a video about ABA therapy on her channel, along with other resources about autism.)
https://emmashopebook.com/2012/10/10/tackling-that-troublesome-issue-of-aba-and-ethics/
I would recommend trying to find out about the therapy consent laws for minors for wherever you live. Also, if you think your mother would be receptive to changing her mind about ABA therapy, then there are plenty of negative experiences in the autistic community to go around that you could show her. As someone who doesnāt have experience with this, Iām not sure what your alternatives are as a minor.
As for your mother stopping you from stimming, Iām not sure what methods you have tried as of yet, but here are a few discreet stims:-tapping your fingers against your leg/tapping your feet-rubbing your hands together or tracing shapes onto your hands-if you wear jewelry, thatās perfect to stim with. Rings you can take off and fidget with or spin on your finger. Necklaces can jingle and be fun to make shapes out of. Earring studs you can twist. Bracelets with beads that you can spin, or spin around your wrist.-Chewing gum-think of small things you could carry in your pockets that you could fidget with: dice, paper clips, marbles, etc.
If anyone has any advice on what anon can do to convince parental unit, cope with ABA, etc. then PLEASE add on to this! I hope I helped at least a little bit, anon. ā¤ļø
I saw a horrible thing on Instagram (in my opinion). A mother of a autistic 4 years old is sharing with other parents a intense treatment for autism. The article says that a boy with autism was able to get out of the spectrum by a really intense treatment for 2 years. She was sharing with other parents of autistic children that their kids can get out of the spectrum if they stay at a course of treatment for more than 2 years. I feel so bad for this children. Being treated like that. I'm angry.
Thatās horrendousā¦such a young child being forced to repress natural behaviors in order to be ācuredāIt terrifies meā¦
My therapist sucks. She is doing something that she calls sensory integration. She makes me touch a bunch of stuff and sometimes it's really hard and uncomfortable. I told her that and she said that I have to work with that because I need to stop not wanting to touch or eat some stuff just because they don't feel good for me. What can I do? I have told my mom and she agrees with the therapist.
At this point, as a minor (Iām assuming) you have limited options. I will instead give you some ideas on how to deal with this:You can tell them that the desensitization is moving too fast for your comfort, and that you need them to go slower.You can try and find healthy alternatives to the foods that you canāt eat, or find ways that you can eat them. Would your mom agree to you wearing gloves in order to cope with other textures?
If this therapy is not helping you, seems to only make things worse, and if you come out of every session feeling worse than before, thatās not right. Try and explain the problem once more to your mom:If it makes you feel bad, say so.What emotions do you experience?Why do you think this therapy is not right for you?Why can you live without this treatment/ why is it unnecessary?
Good luck, anon! You can get through this.
I suddenly understood that therapy is not supposed to make you morally better, more compassionate, and kinder. And I think that tanked my motivation to ever engage with it (that was low anyway).
Iāve noticed through the years that a lot of people whoāve been in long-term therapy are even quicker to judge others and can be more cruel to those who they think are toxic. Theyāre even less likely to actually try to understand whatās going on for that person and try to be compassionate than someone whoās never been in therapy. And by that I donāt mean people-pleasing. By that I mean at least not bullying someone whoās behavior they donāt like. Iāve experienced it, Iāve seen it with others: when therapy-goers donāt agree with someone, even if the discussion is civil, they think that their healing gives them the permission to be aggressive towards someone they think is toxic. Toxicity can be just another personās trauma and their depression: negativity is toxic, how dare they ātrauma dumpā, even if the person is not aggressive at all, just defeated. And therapy-goers then think that instead of saying that they unfortunately donāt have the resources to listen to the person and distancing, if they really are annoyed that much, start bringing the person down: āyouāre toxicā, āyou violate my boundariesā, āyou have no regard for othersā. It can get to actual ugly bullying even.
When I talked to other people (and ChatGPT lol), everyone actually agreed on that point: therapy doesnāt have the objective of making people kinder. I donāt really think I want to engage with it, it just doesnāt make sense to me: people go to therapy, for years, to heal from harm caused by other people. Just toā¦ leave the office and then cause this harm? Like, what are we doing here, going in circles: be traumatized by others, heal in therapy, traumatize others, be traumatized again, heal in therapy againā¦ Isnāt therapy supposed to make the world a better place? Break the cycle? Shouldnāt it bring people closer to each other instead of them being self-focused and hurting each other? I donāt want to waste money becoming a worse person who only cares about themself.
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biggest issue ive had with telehealth therapy as a self-dx schedule-driven autistic..
therapist having to cancel/reschedule bc shit keeps coming up for her
its so frustrating. cuz i get stuck in Waiting Mode(TM) and having to sit here waiting for her to update me on whether not its still a go today
its sposed to be every thursday at 10AM but she had shit come up today (which i totally get) but damn does it get frustrating
oh well
Other people are not substitutes for your therapist.
other people are not substitutes for your therapist.
otherpeoplearenotsubstitutesforyourtherapist.
other.people.are.not.substitutes.for.your.therapist.
Other.People.Are.Not.Substitutes.For.Your.Therapist.
Other People Are Not Substitutes For Your Therapist.Ā
