All The Songs Make Sense @alwaysbeyondhope - Tumblr Blog

Decided to watch some of my favorite Game Changer episodes and it makes me just so happy

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I just finished Dungeons and Drag Queens season 1 and it was the cutest badass thing! I really want the season 1 shirt. I’m moving on to Fantasy High before I go back for season 2.

#personal #dropout #dimension 20 #dungeons and drag queens

alwaysbeyondhope

In honor of the Chess revival closing announcement (not gonna touch that discourse with a ten foot pole), here’s my Chess haul from my trip to Lund!

Three of these were things @pocket-elf got me and were waiting for me when I arrived: the OBC recording on CD, the Gothenburg Chess in Concert CD, and Chess på svenska on DVD.

The other two I picked up at a record store: the concept album on vinyl and I Know Him So Well on vinyl.

I’m still always on the lookout for more Svenska Chess, but this was a really good haul! And I love finding Chess stuff in Sweden!

Also - look at my bby on the back of the DVD! I had to take the picture like that because Helen just looks so precious here. My favorite Florence. I love her

alwaysbeyondhope

@yellowandnothing

Everything but the vinyls was bought on Tradera, which is like Swedish eBay. You need a Swedish personal number (like US SSN) to buy from there, so the friend I stay with had already bought the CDs and DVD prior to my stay. I pay her back by stuffing my suitcase full of things she orders from Amazon that are sent to me (avoiding custom charges), vinyls, Hot Topic clothes, and pounds of Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish (yes, American Swedish Fish is different from Swedish pick&mix fish gummies haha).

I got the vinyls from Repeat records, which is a new and used record store in town. When I went in May they only had these two, which I bought (because Chess is my love). But when you go they may have others that have come in - not sure, though.

I suggest checking out the second hand stores in Lund and Malmö (Malmö’s only a 30ish minute train ride away, and only costs like $13 for a 24hr ticket). It’s hit or miss at the second hand stores, and you have to go looking, but there’s the chance of Chess stuff there.

If you wanna explore other Benny and Björn stuff, the second hand stores are likely to have BAO CDs (Benny Anderssons Orkester) - that’s Benny’s band with his music and mostly Björn lyrics - and features vocals by Tommy Körberg (original Anatoly) and Helen Sjöholm (Florence in Swedish Chess production, Kristina in Benny and Björn’s Swedish musical Kristina från Duvemåla, all around amazing singer / performer and my Swedish love).

Lund is my absolute favorite town ever. If I could live there I would. It’s full of history and the university buildings are gorgeous and the center of town has so much to offer and the city park and botanical gardens and the culture museum and the cathedral are wonders. I could wax poetic about Lund for days.

This might be more than you wanted, but if you want more, let me know! And I hope you enjoy your trip!!

#yellowandnothing #chess musical #Lund #Lund Sweden #Lund Sverige #personal

I took my first dose of Accutane yesterday. This is the second time I’m trying these meds - the first time was January 2025, and that was at a normal 30mg dose every day. That tanked my mental health so bad I had to take time off of work and spend 8 weeks in an IOP program. But my face was so much clearer, even after just one month on it.

Once the mental health side effects got really bad I stopped taking the Accutane. But nothing has worked on my rosacea like Accutane had.

So I’m trying the meds again, this time microdosing. 20mg every other day.

Yesterday was my first dose.

My mental health is fine - definitely helped by the fact that I’m not working at the moment - but the physical side effects feel a bit worse than last time. Today’s my day off from it, but I’m still feeling the stomach cramps, bowel issues, nausea, and increased pressure in my head (the pressure part really doesn’t go well with my Chiari).

But I need the Accutane to work. I hate how bad my rosacea is. I hardly took any pictures of myself while I was in Lund because of the extreme redness on my face. As much as I’ve grown and don’t care about how I’m perceived (for the most part), my face is such a source of embarrassment and self-consciousness.

Microdosing means being on the medication longer, but shouldn’t have the same side effects as the regular dosing. I’m hoping this is just early start of the meds side effects that will taper off after being on it for a few weeks. But right now it’s *rough*.

I just have to stick it out. I need this to work.

#personal #body things #why my body so broken #why can’t I have a functioning body #this is why I need remote work #too many things going on for me to be in the office #now just to find a remote job

shiverandqueeef

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

#completely me #Pocki this includes you

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AAHHH this is why I love Dropout.

It’s almost 2 am and I’m just now getting into bed. I should be sleeping and while I am tired I’m still on a high from the Game Changer Kickstarter livestream to mark the end of the Kickstarter campaign, and how much fun the group chat was!

So I will be sleeping soon - I hear Dudley on the bed now so it won’t be long until he’s pawing at me to roll over and go to sleep - but like…it’s just so nice talking with a group of people who share similar interests, viewpoints, morals, etc. All roughly around the same age (give or take a decade or two) and all who understand each other.

I’m sure other thoughts on this will come to me at a later time, and this post was supposed to be way more insightful, but remembering that it’s almost 2 am means my brain is not working right. So I’m sleeping now, and tomorrow will be more Dropout thoughts.

Also: in case Dropout peeps come here from the chat - HELLO FRIENDS! I’m weird, #TooHorny, and I most likely share wayyy more than I should for someone my age on a social media site. It’s okay - I won’t tell if you won’t!

#personal #dropout #game changer

I forgot how excruciatingly awful job applications are. Why do I need to write down everything I did when it’s also on my resume? Why do I need all the stupid fancy technical garbage language when I can just explain normally the shit I did at my previous jobs?

Fuckkkkkk

#personal #ignore me #job hunting

alwaysbeyondhope

Watching Like My Coffee 2 and Grant palming the Rubik’s Cube in the mannequin’s pocket is so inexplicably hot.

Like, sir, how dare you do that there and not over here in my living room

alwaysbeyondhope

GRANT O’BRIEN YOU COME HERE AT ONCE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF why are you so hot why do you make everything so pervy you beautiful horny freak I love you so much.

Grant perving it up with the mannequin because he hasn’t been pervy ENOUGH yet is such utter perfection and I’m not even high he’s just that fucking hot. I can’t stand it

alwaysbeyondhope

GRANT O’BRIEN I’M RIGHT HERE

Jfc I’m watching The Bachelor Pt 1 and I am SO HERE for Grant’s Bachelor moment.

But also. Honey. I’m right here. We match each other’s freaks - maybe not in actions (I have not have NEARLY the amount of sex he has) but in pure #TooHorny levels. My guy. I love you

alwaysbeyondhope

Finished both episodes of The Bachelor and my darling Grant O’Brien ended the competition the best possible way: choosing both final two contestants, like the slutty man that he is. I love it for him.

I’m now watching Breaking News - originally for Grant, but now just for all of them, and oh my god they’re such BABIESSSS here.

I didn’t know anything about CollegeHumor when they were first coming up and popular online, so this is like a whole treasure trove of new material for me

#grant o’brien #personal #dropout #college humor

alwaysbeyondhope

Watching Like My Coffee 2 and Grant palming the Rubik’s Cube in the mannequin’s pocket is so inexplicably hot.

Like, sir, how dare you do that there and not over here in my living room

alwaysbeyondhope

GRANT O’BRIEN YOU COME HERE AT ONCE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF why are you so hot why do you make everything so pervy you beautiful horny freak I love you so much.

Grant perving it up with the mannequin because he hasn’t been pervy ENOUGH yet is such utter perfection and I’m not even high he’s just that fucking hot. I can’t stand it

alwaysbeyondhope

GRANT O’BRIEN I’M RIGHT HERE

Jfc I’m watching The Bachelor Pt 1 and I am SO HERE for Grant’s Bachelor moment.

But also. Honey. I’m right here. We match each other’s freaks - maybe not in actions (I have not have NEARLY the amount of sex he has) but in pure #TooHorny levels. My guy. I love you

#personal #dropout #game changer #grant O’Brien #stoppp I love him

My wife is the fucking cutest when she’s sleepy. Like she’s cute all time, but she’s TOO MUCH CUTENESS when she’s got the sleepies. And it’s too much and my heart can’t handle it.

Also we’re just so fucking sweet together and everyone we meet tells us so. Like for us we’re just being ourselves, not being extra flirty or anything, just our normal authentic selves, but because we’re so in love it’s just infectious and adorable.

#personal #love letters to Lilith #my wife is amazing #and beautiful #and I love them

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alwaysbeyondhope

Watching Like My Coffee 2 and Grant palming the Rubik’s Cube in the mannequin’s pocket is so inexplicably hot.

Like, sir, how dare you do that there and not over here in my living room

alwaysbeyondhope

GRANT O’BRIEN YOU COME HERE AT ONCE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF why are you so hot why do you make everything so pervy you beautiful horny freak I love you so much.

Grant perving it up with the mannequin because he hasn’t been pervy ENOUGH yet is such utter perfection and I’m not even high he’s just that fucking hot. I can’t stand it

#grant o’brien #game changer #dropout #personal #like my coffee 2

Watching Like My Coffee 2 and Grant palming the Rubik’s Cube in the mannequin’s pocket is so inexplicably hot.

Like, sir, how dare you do that there and not over here in my living room

#personal #dropout #game changer #grant o’Brien #like my coffee 2

High and watching Um, Actually episodes that specifically have Brennan in them. Because he’s so fucking adorable and sexy

#personal #um actually #brennan lee mulligan #dropout

filing for unemployment is a bitch and a half and I hate it. And it took me a while to do it because I was leaving for vacation two days after I got the paperwork to set up the unemployment stuff, and I needed to have the resume created before I could file, and now it's being a bitch and I have to talk to people and I might have to resubmit the whole claim and I'm tired and grumpy and I just want the pathetically low unemployment check per week to help me while I find a job that doesn't fucking suck.

now I'm mad and the desire to just say "fuck it all" and get high is strong. That might be what ends up happening today.

#personal #ignore me #work but not work nonsense

I’ve got two episodes left of Dungeons and Drag Queens (plus the AP episodes), as well as one episode (plus AP) of Misfits and Magic. I’ve also got last week’s City Counsel of Darkness (and AP) to watch.

But I’ve decided to go back to the beginning and tackle Fantasy High.

I’d watched the first two episodes at some point, but I hardly remember anything, so I’m starting over now. So here’s to the Intrepid Heroes from 2018!! They’re such bbys!!

#personal #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high

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I’m awake at 2:30 in the morning and I had put on It’s You from Heated Rivalry on repeat to go to sleep and now I’m just missing Lund and @pocket-elf and yes I know it’s only been a week or so since I came home but I wanna be back in Lund and with my Swedish bestie pleaseeee

(while also still being at home with my stuff and my kitties and my banging hot wife why is my teleporter broken??)

#personal #it’s you #Peter Peter #pocket-elf #I just wanna live in Sweden and in Delaware #is that so hard?#Lilith’s playlist is playing Video Games by Lana Del Rey #I fucking love my wife

calamitys-child

I'm a pacifist like institutionally but I'm absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don't believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust

#all this

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