#stuff?

Mainly stuff like colorism and texturism. I visited that side of the family recently and the first time a family member meets me, he touches my curly hair without asking and asks if it’s real (What if it hadn’t been? That’s a really weird thing to ask. A white person would have been corrected). And then, because he’s partially blind, he asks “What color? Blond?” in this horribly hopeful way.

And my grandmother does a very similar thing every time she visits me too. This Black woman stands there telling me how my hair is so pretty and comparing me to my (more Black & more African American presenting) half sisters, and this time claimed that I look like “this one movie star” (I look nothing like; it’s only the fact that I have lighter skin and curls).

And now my youngest half brother came out lighter than the others even though he’s less mixed than me. And she’s comparing us and how “people will know those two are related. They look just alike.” I feel bad for the kid if he darkens up as he gets older (which is likely) because she already has him on a pedestal, it seems.

I fucking loved this movie. I loved it so much. Favorite movie now.

My hunch that I would love it was actually right (Space, cloning, political and societal criticism, extremely funny in a disturbing way).

Having yourself tell you you’re an idiot for not standing up for yourself and guilting yourself into „this is my fault.“ The two idiots in my brain social fear and manslaughter…