#stevil

Drow bard at the Drow punk show seeing a Drow band with a name in a foreign language that got a bit lost in translation.

It’s always a great day when Stevil gets beaten up.

Starring: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and Jarvis (A.I.).

Tony Stark’s Basement Lab, Avengers Tower.

“Jay, run the sequence again would you,” Tony mumbles through a yawn.

The screens remain the same. “Jay? You there buddy?”

Jarvis doesn’t respond. Suddenly, the lights turn off and all the screens vanish. Tony stands from his bent position as the lab doors swish open. A big shadowed figure stocks toward him.

The device Tony was working on clatters to the ground. A large hand grabs him by the upper arm. Tony feels a pinch in his neck. He then collapses into a hard fabric covered surface passing out cold.

Communal Kitchen, Avengers Tower.

“Stevil.”

Steve sighs heavily in response. “Tony, I just banned you from the lab for three days. That’s it, “ He chides, crossing to Tony who appears to be seconds away from pouring coffee all over the counter.

“Evil Steve. You are evil.”

Steve takes the coffee pot from Tony, pours the dark liquid until it’s half an inch from the top of Clint’s Pinkie Pie mug, adds a heaping teaspoon of sugar; then crosses to the fridge and adds a splash of creamer. Just the way the genius likes it.

“I never thought I’d see the day that Mr. Good turns into the worst villain imaginable.”

“Tony it’s three days. You can spend them sleeping for all I care. In fact that probably wouldn’t be a bad idea considering the position you were in when I dragged you out of the lab.” Steve hands Tony the mug making sure he has both hands on it.

“I was absolutely fine before you barged in.”

“You could barely stand and you had screws stuck to your neck.”

“I was perfectly able to stand. You don’t think maybe I just wanted to hug you so I could try and love the evil out of you. It’s not my fault love doesn’t conquer all. As for the screws, things just end up places so again not my fault.”

Tony shuffles toward the table. Steve follows behind with his hands out to catch Tony if he falls again.

They take seats next to each other. Steve picks up the smoothie he made himself earlier that morning grimacing at its now room temperature.

“And you, Jarvis, don’t think you’re off the hook. You conspired with Stevil. I nearly had a heart attack when you didn’t respond and everything shut off.”

“I apologize sir. It was not my or Captain Rogers intention to alarm you in any way. But if I may, sir? You did mute me before when I tried to request for you to retire for a few hours.”

“I don’t remember doing that.”

Jarvis plays a recording of Tony four and a half hours earlier with slurred words telling Jarvis to zip it and then Tony on the recording makes a loud squeal as something catches on fire. They hear Dum-E beeping in excitement before the recording stops.

“Okay fine, maybe a day off won’t kill me”

“You’re still not allowed back in the lab for three days, Shellhead. Jarvis and I will make sure of it.”

“Jarvis, alert the media that Captain American is a super villain.”

“Should I include the video of Mr. Rogers carrying you to the living room, gently depositing you onto the couch, and placing a blanket over you with that message?”

“He’s corrupted my child. I’ll never be able to stop them both.”

Steve tries to smother the laughter building inside him. Tony is just too cute when he’s being this ridiculous. “Tony, we just want you to take a break. We care about you.”

Tony rises from the table and turns tired red eyes to Steve, “Stevil.”

He looks at the camera in the corner of the room, “Jarvil.”

The genius then stomps out of the kitchen with authority minus when he stumbles and knocks his shoulder into the door frame.