Steve and Bucky who are trying to woo Tony, except Tony flirts like breathing and doesn't realize they're serious. He can turn anything into a joke and always flabbergasts the two super soldiers with his obliviousness and audacity
Steve is equipped with a low voice and smirk as he leans sexily against the doorframe. "Hey sweetheart."
"Sup sugar tits." Tony replies without looking up, eyes glued to his Starkpad.
He ducks underneath Steve's arm on his way out as the man is still spluttering.
"You have a little something..." Bucky trails off, bringing a napkin up to the side of Tony's mouth gently.
"Oh thanks. I'm always a messy eater when I'm enjoying myself. That's why I like facials."
Bucky's hand drops. Tony shoves another giant mouthful of spaghetti between his lips.
Steve curls an arm around Tony on the couch, Bucky on his other side with a hand on his thigh. They press in warm, tight on either side of the man.
Tony's head falls onto Steve's shoulder and he thinks gotcha, turning to Bucky to show off how Tony's finally cuddled into him only to realize—
"You've got to be kidding me."
Bucky holds Tony, leading their dance on the open floor.
He took extra care washing and styling his hair and beard, as well as wearing a perfectly tailored suit; there's no way Tony isn't checking him out tonight.
They sway comfortably in sync and Bucky can't help feasting on his beauty with hungry eyes.
"You're really good at dancing Barnes, seems like your muscle memory stuck with you."
Aha! He's definitely wooed him with his skill.
The arm around Tony's waist tugs closer.
"Yeah, well I have lots of practice."
"Right. Dancing in the 40s was the war era equivalent of a hot pair of booty shorts. Fast feet meant a wet dick."
For the first time in the night Bucky's feet miss a beat.
"I can't even imagine how well worn this bicycle was," Tony smacks Bucky on the butt, the man squeaking. "Ladies woulda loved the bionic arm too. Still would."
Tony leaves with a wink, the song having ended, muttering something about the bar.
Bucky stands frozen and watches him go.
"You look really hot today Tony." Steve blurts out when he comes to visit Tony in the workshop.
He then throws up on Steve's shoes.
"Yeah I'm running a pretty bad fever. Sorry."
Steve contemplates his life decisions as Dum-E mops his feet and Tony heads to bed.
Tony is sitting alone on the jet so Buck takes the opportunity to sit beside him, watching the man's profile. Tony eventually notices the staring, turning his hot mocha eyes on him. They gaze long and intent, hope bubbling in Bucky's chest at the intimacy as he begins to lean in closer...
Bucky jerks back at the outburst.
"You'd think being a super soldier would get you an advantage on that kind of thing. Guess the serum didn't effect your eye moisture."
Tony turns back to looking out the window, satisfied smile at winning the staring contest.
Steve catches the Iron Man suit heading down the stairs one day, and he jogs up to Tony before he can hide away in his work again.
"Tony, I just have to say it. I think you're really incredible and I've had feelings for you for a while now. Would you like to go on a date with me and Bucky?"
Tony just keeps walking down the stairs with a sandwich, paying him no mind.
He follows him, concerned, and watches the workshop doors open as the suit marches in and places the sandwich at the desk Tony's working at.
"Oh hey Cap. Need something?"
Steve looks at the armor. It stares back. (Steve swears it looked judgemental.)
Bucky and Steve have had enough of this. Down with the subtle, considering Tony seems to be cosmically impervious to their advances. They're just going to say it.
"Mhm," he says, still scrolling on his phone at the table.
Bucky rips it out of his hands.
"Hey!" he retorts, flummoxed.
"Listen. Bucky and I want to have dinner. With you. At your favourite Italian place. Tonight."
Tony's eyebrows furrow, "It's a little romantic there isn't it?"
"Yes! Exactly! We should all go together to the very romantic restaurant."
Tony's face relaxes, eyes lighting up.
"Oh! Of course. Sounds lovely. I'll make the reservation, I have an in."
Bucky and Steve meet eyes immediately, excitement dancing behind their pupils.
Tony's already on the phone with the restaurant as he steps out of the room, and the pair silently fist bump and cheer.
Tony is dressed beautifully, a navy blue blazer and cream button up over nice slacks.
So is Thor, who has brought Jane. And Natasha and Bruce. Even Clint.
"Double date! Or, triple? Quadruple?" Tony says excitedly when Bucky and Steve pull up outside the nice restaurant.
"This is a date? The hell am I doing here?" Clint asks.
"To keep me company of course," Tony lays a friendly kiss on Clint's cheek, smiling impishly as he heads in to get their table.
"Who're those for?" Natasha asks.
Steve and Bucky look down at the bouquets in their hands.
"Uh, you lovely ladies of course." Steve hands his to Natasha, Bucky quickly catching up and handing his to Jane.
Natasha is clearly suspicious but Bruce thinks it's a kind gesture. Thor is already posturing, telling Jane the flowers on Asgard bloom much more beautiful and he's just been waiting for a good time to take her. Jane just smells her flowers and nods along.
All the couples sit together and join in with lovely conversation and food the whole night, Tony making a show of ordering the best appetizers and desserts for the table. Steve and Bucky sit together and watch as Tony flirts good-naturedly with Clint the whole night, teasing him, jokingly feeding him spoonfuls of his tiramisu, squeezing his biceps.
"Who the hell shot your puppy?" Nat whispers to Bucky halfway through, his face a portrait of pure desolation.
She nods like that makes perfect sense.
"Anthony Edward Stark!" Bucky slams his fist on Tony's bedroom door a dozen times before it's ripped open.
He's partly undressed from the evening, in an undershirt and unbuckled slacks.
Bucky grabs his cheeks and kisses the breath from his lungs.
When he finally releases the man both their lips have bloomed cherry, glistening like a raincloud wash.
"Wow." The genius mumbles, eyes still on Bucky's aggressively beautiful lips.
"That's for ruining our date."
"Oh man, if that's my punishment I will be doing it far more often. Wait, what date?"
He rips his eyes from Bucky's mouth, glancing between his and Steve's, who he just notices over Bucky's shoulder, determined gazes.
"What kind of moron gets invited to an intimate Italian restaurant and thinks it's for a quadruple date!"
"Well I thought you were inviting me on the two of you's date, and that you wanted me to invite my own date! But I don't have one! So I invited all our friends, y'know?"
"You are the most infuriating man I've ever been in love with and I've been dating Steve Rogers since before it was legal."
Bucky begins vibrating with undisclosed tension, so Steve grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him back just in case it was murderous.
It probably wasn't murderous. Probably. Maybe maim-erous.
"Tones we're in love with you, we want to go out with you."
"Well why didn't you say something sooner? Of course I wanna go out with you two hunks."
Okay Bucky is definitely letting off murderous tension now.
"We're so glad that's settled. May we come into your room? I think Bucky needs to throw something, and preferably your hot ass onto that bed, and not your head into a wall."
"Oh. Yep, aye aye Captain!" Tony says as he holds the door open for the two.
Bucky and Steve send one last telepathic glance towards each other—finally.