#sterilized

I am now ~49 hours post op bilateral salpingectomy. Which just means I got my tubes yeeted entirely. No more IUDs or birth control pills. I am sterile.

The first 24 hours were pretty fine pain wise. I had pain from the catheter and then also from using my abdominal muscles to bear down on my bladder when I had to pee. I have to adjust my body using only my arm strength so thank goodness I’ve been doing hundreds of push ups every day since 2020. I was really dizzy yesterday but that went away until I took my oxies for the pain today.

They found endometriosis while they were in there which doesn’t surprise me. My periods have always been excruciatingly painful. But the cramps I had today hurt even worse. I almost threw up a few times it hurt so bad, and that was when I turned to the stronger stuff. So now I’m dizzy and nauseous from those and not the anesthesia and whatever else they gave me.

It’s weird having two different pain sensations. One for the external wounds on my skin where they cut into me, and one internally where they removed the tubes. Tbh I’m not sure how many nerve endings are there if any but I can distinctly feel where my ovaries and uterus are just by focusing on the discomfort/pain.

I found my surgeon on the childfree subreddit list and cross referenced with who was in my insurance network. Dr. Kimmelman was absolutely wonderful and thorough. I never had to argue my case with her she was just like okay let’s do it.

I was taken back to the OR around 3:30 on 8/31 and released back home around 5:30. Super quick in and out. I know I was speaking more coherently than my brain was actually comprehending because all the nurses were like wow you’re really responsive and doing great, but truthfully I wasn’t all there until I had made it to the second recovery room and even then it’s fuzzy.

10:21 PM EDT June 13, 2022:

Melvins - "Sterilized" From the album Stag (Jul 15, 1996)

I got my Fallopian tubes removed yesterday. No more Tokophobia, no more pressure from people to have children that I don’t want.

After the amount of guilting and pressuring me to pop out a crotch goblin from my ex-husband and his family. It feels INCREDIBLE to finally have my autonomy back and take this step. I have never wanted to have kids, it was always pressure from others that made me feel like I had to have them. Trying to make them happy and keep the peace was a terrible decision. But, that will never be something I have to worry about again.