#vasectomy

Quick aside, I asked if I could keep my operating room socks, they said yes and I still have them and wear them to this day!

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Ok so, it’s no great secret that the process for getting bottom surgery is long, convoluted, and involves a myriad of documentation telling the insurance company that I am indeed sure about what I want.  As it turns out, the insurance company doesn’t really care if I’m sure, so they need a bunch of other doctors to tell them that I’m sure.

It is what it is, but I do wish that “what it is” was simpler.

When I got a vasectomy in 2021 (I guess this is me announcing that, as only my wife and a few friends knew until this comic), the urologist gave me one “are you sure?” then a little spiel about how while vasectomies are reversible, reversal surgeries aren’t 100% guaranteed to be successful.  I said cool, no problem, and he followed up by saying the same. 

I was scheduled shortly after to get it done, and my insurance company was like hell yeah bro let’s do it, no questions asked.

It’s frustrating that when presenting male, beyond the standard operating procedure to inform me of what getting a vasectomy would entail and what reversal options were, I was immediately accepted, granted the procedure, and had it covered.

When presenting female, suddenly there’s a whole lot of extra folks at the insurance company that are questioning if I’m *really* sure.

As if I woke up one day and on a whim thought to myself, “you know what I feel like today?  A major surgery!”

I’m sure.

I promise.

“I could see everything,” he told me, “all my guts and stuff.”

In disbelief I asked, “Your guts? For a vasectomy?”

“Yeah,” he insisted, “my dick guts. They pulled out my dick guts from my balls and soldered the tube-“

He was interrupted by my roar of laughter at both the phrase “dick guts” and “soldered”.

Please let me know in advance if you're willing to write this!

I adore your writing and thank you very much!!

Only You (Dazai x Reader)

I'M LITERALLY BLUSHINGGG RAAAA TYSM

Here you go, hope you enjoy this! My works: enjoy Bye now - Mars ♡

I personally think he would already have a vasectomy before getting into a relationship. 

Mostly because he canonically is a womanizer and sleeps around (or uses his body to get stuff out of people) 

He'd get one because I don’t think Dazai wants to accidentally get anyone pregnant. 

Mainly because he thinks he would be a shit father and he believes he's deeply unworthy of being a dad

If he does settle down with somebody it's definitely someone who's childfree 

He loves breeding but would never want to get you pregnant, or deal with a pregnancy. It's too much and he's too unstable for that

With all that being said, here’s Dazai with a partner that suggests he gets a vasectomy, enjoy!

You’re sitting on the couch, multiple pregnancy tests in your hands as you stare down at the strips, each with one line. Still in shock from the way your stomach dropped earlier.

The amount of time your boyfriend bred you this week alone was enough to get you pregnant. The man was a fiend when it came to you. You curled up on the couch, waiting for him to come home from the agency. 

As night falls, Osamu steps inside the apartment, a smile stretching across his face as he sees your burritoed up on the couch. His sharp eyes caught the pregnancy tests on the table.

“A very good night to you, Bella” he speaks softly, kicking off his shoes and joining you on the couch, arms snaking around you and lifting you up and against his chest. He kisses your forehead, then tilts his head and captures your lip in a soft tender kiss.

He lets you lean against him, seeking his comfort. Osamu picks up the tests and examines the results. At the single line visible on the strip, he lets out a quiet exhale of relief.

“I got carried away, huh?” he mused, hugging you tightly, “Are you… disappointed?”

You pull back to look at your boyfriend, eyes searching his face for any sign of his disappointment, “No, I don’t want children...ever”

That seems to surprise the detective, his brows raised slightly before he schooled them, “Bella,” he whispers

You smile, more to yourself than him, “I’m ready to accept that maybe we won’t work because I’m not the type of person to give you children”

“Bella,” he whispers, hooking his index finger under your chin and raising your face to him, he leans closer and kisses you softly, it’s so slow and tender. “I am with you for you, not some potential snotty nose brat you could maybe give me”

“Osamu”

“No, let me finish” he cups your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, “I love you” he pleads softly. “Too much, it scares me sometimes” he presses his forehead against yours, "Nothing you could do would make me stop loving you"

“That is your decision, and I fully support that, you’re all I want. I’m a damn lucky bastard you even gave me a chance” he smiles, eyes threatening to break, emotions like aggressive waves in a storm.

“Thank you, Osamu. I only want you too, but i cannot go through another pregnancy scare, my poor heart can’t”

“I’ll wear condoms”

“But I like feeling you” you held his gaze, eyes drinking in the beautiful face of your lover, “Hmm”

“I can see the gears turning in that pretty little head”

“Maybe you could, I dunno, get a vasectomy?” you suggested, biting your lower lip in anticipation as you watch him for any sign of resistance, “You don’t have to ans-”

“Yes” he cuts you off, smiling and pulling you onto his lap, nuzzling your neck, “Yes, I’ll go in tomorrow first thing for a consultancy” he kisses your cheeks.

You look at the man, a bit surprised by how easily he accepted the suggestion, “I love you, you crazy man” you held his face and kissed him. 

And this is the Care Package that my wife made up for me.