#stapph

wiggles, bestie, why would you say this....

Hi Sapph,

I’m really sorry that you are suffering with anxiety, specifically surrounding war and conflict. Unfortunately, it is a very real concern that we are all facing right now, but once the concern turns into an issue which affects your daily life, which it sounds like yours does, this is definitely an anxiety issue which may need further investigation and treatment. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you a little advice about how to start dealing with this <3

I am not a professional, so cannot diagnose you are tell you an exact treatment that would work for you, anything I say is coming from personal experience and/or opinion. Saying that, the first thing that came to mind when I read your ask was Traumatophobia - this is quite simply the fear of war. A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder which causes an intense fear, usually of something irrational. Severe and extreme phobias can cause a lot of disruption to people’s day to day lives as the day is taking over by avoiding things which trigger the phobia, and preparing for the worst case scenario. This is something that I suggest you do a little more research into, does this sounds like something you may be dealing with?

However, the thoughts of not seeing your girlfriend again, and the fear of not achieving anything, are really common symptoms of anxiety disorders as a whole. I deal with both of these concerns quite a lot with my anxiety, but something I have started to try and do, as cliche as it sounds, is to just take each day as it comes, and appreciate whatever the day brings. Everyday you get to see your girlfriend, cherish the time you have together and all the memories you have; and everyday, by just making it through another day, you are achieving so much! Maybe not big dreams or plans you have, but they often don’t happen overnight, so I’ve come to accept that every day I am closer to achieving a big dream so therefore I am achieving something by definition. Does this make sense?

If your anxieties are causing you serious concerns, I would really recommend going and talking to a therapist about them - I think a therapist would be a good place to start as they would be able to help you understand the root of the fear you have, and hopefully give you some good coping mechanisms. If therapy is not effective alone and your anxiety continues to have a large impact on your life, then you can go to your doctor - your doctor could offer you referrals to mental health professionals, and/or treatment such as medication. I am linking our page about getting help here. 

In addition to professional help, there are a few techniques you can practise yourself to help you control and reduce your anxiety. I suggest you have a look at our anxiety page series, specifically the self-help and calming down pages; some of the information on here might be really useful to you when your anxiety is getting bad and you find your thoughts starting to spiral out of control. I also think grounding techniques might be good for you, for when something triggers a thought of war and your thoughts then start taking you out of reality and into a state of panic. A technique I find particularly helpful is to describe your environment in detail, using all your senses - for example, “The walls are white; the settee is made of leather; I can smell a candle burning…” Describe objects, sounds, textures, colours, smells, anything that you can until you find your mind has been taken away from the bad thoughts and brought back to reality. A physical technique is to run your hands under ice cold water. We have a page of grounding techniques here. 

Again, I am really sorry that you are dealing with this, lovely, but I hope some of the advice here will be at least a little use to you. Please know that you are not alone, and do not have to suffer with this in isolation - you can get help and find ways to reduce the impact this anxiety has on you. Please take care <3