what if instead of being made of BONES that HURT ME i was made of SOUP that was warm and also a lil' bit jiggy
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@luckyjak
what if instead of being made of BONES that HURT ME i was made of SOUP that was warm and also a lil' bit jiggy

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headcanons about Bren Brenatto
he has great hair and he loves lying
in terms of appearance he looks like Veth cloned herself. Dark hair, dark skin, a lil' chunky. Yeza's genetics did not participate in this kid.
except the kid has atrocious eye-sight and he desperately needs glasses that he refuses to wear because he feels they make him look like a dork. So he has Yeza's terrible eyesight.
Yeza actually feels really bad because he feels like he doesn't have much in common with his second son, but Luc points out to him that actually, he and Bren are a lot more alike than he thinks: Luc and Veth are chaos gremlins, but Yeza and Bren are the calm and collected ones who stay focused even with chaos going on all around them.
(despite this, Bren is still definitely Veth's son)
He is a wizard prodigy--especially when it comes to dunamancy. Caleb theorizes that this is because of his exposure to dunamancy in the womb speeding up his birth giving him a special connection to dunamantic energy, while Essek disagrees; he thinks that Bren is just naturally talented at said magic. Regardless, the kid is good at dunamancy.
speaking of Essek: Essek does not give one single shit about this kid until the kid is like, 6; the Mighty Nein are all gathered for someone's birthday, and all the other kids are out playing and causing a ruckus, and Bren figures out how to do Essek's floating trick all on his own. Then Essek starts to care about this lil' halfling.
after that Bren-Bren starts spending a lot more weekends at his favorite Uncles' house.
time spent at the wizards' house is enrichment for all wizards; the uncles' spend time creating traps and puzzles and magical situations for the little one to get out of, and the little one spends time getting out of said traps/puzzles/situations. Like a pumpkin in a tiger cage: everyone leaves a little better than they started.
by the time Bren is 11 he hates being called Bren-Bren. His mom and Caleb still call him that because sometimes that is just what parents do
(Yeza is respectful and calls him Bren. Essek has never called him anything but "Bren Brenatto" in the exact same tone of voice he says "Caleb Widogast". Luc exclusively calls him Bren-Bren because he's his big brother.)
When Bren enrolls at Soltryce and starts studying to become a full-time wizard, and is naturally Charming and Good at People while also being Good at Magic, and, because he's Veth's son, reasonable good at thief things, Caleb has a panic attack as he realizes he's accidentally made the Perfect Volstrucker. He has to spend a week on Astrid's couch after that.
When Bren is 17, he (17, the age when all good decisions is made) (loves lying) (has excellent hair) (Veth's son) gets the truly excellent idea to go to the Kryn Dynasty and tell them: "What's up? I'm Essek Thelyss's consecuted soul. You can stop hunting me now! I died 17 years ago in the Empire. Anyway I want to learn more dunamancy!" which certainly won't have any consequences for anyone ever.
the whiplash of having so much Essek in the Mighty Nein animated series vs. the lack of Essek even being mentioned in the one-shots >.<
two weeks later
assumes Essek and Caleb are now living with the Brenattos full-time
Caleb: *solo parenting a 2 week old halfling baby, getting 0 sleep and letting no one help him*
Veth: *living in a 24-hour dream spa that Caleb won't let her leave because he feels guilty about forcing her to give birth early, sipping a martini and getting a massage by imaginary hunky men.*
Essek and Yeza: *doing the dishes*
Yeza: "So, do you guys think you'll ever move out?"
Essek: "Yes, when Caleb stops feeling guilty."
Yeza: "Ah. So never, then."
Essek: "Yes, I think this is probably our new normal. I'm so sorry."
Yeza: "It's alright. There are worse things. How do you feel about a beef stew for dinner?"
Essek: "I'll get the meat out to thaw."
#this is all correct except veth is getting a massage by a team of minotaur massage therapists#the mighty nein#projekt funball#projekt funball spoilers#m9 spoilers#critical role spoilers
@mingus-archives you are correct I forgot about Veth's love of minotaurs please accept this as the correct version of events.
two weeks later
assumes Essek and Caleb are now living with the Brenattos full-time
Caleb: *solo parenting a 2 week old halfling baby, getting 0 sleep and letting no one help him*
Veth: *living in a 24-hour dream spa that Caleb won't let her leave because he feels guilty about forcing her to give birth early, sipping a martini and getting a massage by imaginary hunky men.*
Essek and Yeza: *doing the dishes*
Yeza: "So, do you guys think you'll ever move out?"
Essek: "Yes, when Caleb stops feeling guilty."
Yeza: "Ah. So never, then."
Essek: "Yes, I think this is probably our new normal. I'm so sorry."
Yeza: "It's alright. There are worse things. How do you feel about a beef stew for dinner?"
Essek: "I'll get the meat out to thaw."

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I like that this guy is in Caleb cosplay.
The power scaling of C4 so far is a thing of beauty
this has been in my drafts waiting until we finally got confirmation that azune's backstory is as devastating as I expected it to be. *through tears* great success
characters I think it would be fun for Travis to play
obviously, he can play whatever he wants, but it is fun to speculate!
already established NPCS:
Alogar: new dynamic with Aabria and Liam as that's his parents! If I were Travis I'd do a fighter/cleric build--like his time adventuring has led him to discover clerical magic. Plus we should have a cleric on the team!
Ingrid: do I think Travis would ever play her? Probably not. Do I want him to just so we have an Einfasen player/so I can watch Travis be obsessed with Matt? 1000%
other character ideas that I think would be fun:
A Lloy nephew (forge cleric)
Teor's as yet unintroduced third brother
a gnome artificer
a drunk monk! Bonus points for another dwarf!
honestly an Einfasen cousin or a Cormoray or even one of Occtis's yet unnamed siblings could be fun
a Timmony hound or Timmony soldier/ambassador (which I think is mostly likely going to be the case. But I am rooting for him to play Alogar, especially since we haven't met him yet)
Can you play doom on a knife?

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its his hat
I am normally not a huge OT3 person but I need Julien x Occtis x Thimble to be a thing.
there are some ships out there that do not speak to me personally but i am an understander for. like i see what you are seeing. it just doesn't personally intrigue me. but i support you. you're right. we don't need to fight, let us hold hands.
#i can appreciate a fine ship from the dock via @mylittleredgirl
I don't understand ship names for campaign 4, send help. Why can't we just use names mashed together?
Do-do-do-do-do-do, Steve

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Ohhhh the knightingale moments are so juicy this episode
Thaisha has an awkward question for Sir Julien...