#skatergf

words are the reason you stay up until your eyes burn every night. rehearsing all the things you wish he’d say to you, the things you need him to say to you. the words you’re never going to hear are the ones that will scream the loudest. you try your best to keep them silent, but even at family dinners when your aunts and uncles are asking you about college, the only thing you can hear is his apology that you’ve perfected piercing your eardrums. people tend to speak either too much or not enough, and with that being said i wish i could shove every letter back down your throat, maybe then i wouldnt be stuck here desperate for you to back them up. empty sentences and promises always seem to be the most powerful, but i promise you there is nothing more moving than the carefully chosen order of words pouring out of a broken heart. the splitting in my chest and the raspiness in my voice speaks loud enough for the both of us. i promise you you’re not going to forget me, all the beautiful words i’ve whispered to you, and the mess you left in my heart. i wish i could say i want the presence of all my words to hurt you like the absence of your words has hurt me, but i would never wish pain like this even upon my worst enemy. this is pain only words have the power to cause, spoken and unspoken.

hard feelings / lorde