Okay, so I'm a dick about spoons
I’m not, actually. A good hostess knows that her first priority is the comfort of her guests, so if someone uses the wrong spoon? NBD. If someone else starts being a dick about it? You find a way to shut that shit down post haste and redirect the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
What I AM a dick about is brazen hypocrisy. And as I was rewatching and taking screenshots for Nefarious Purposes, I happened to pause on this, which (setting aside the fact that forks weren't in popular use at all in Northern Europe and North America until the end of the 1700s, much less fancy types for different purposes) feels like an easter-egg for etiquette nerds from the set-dressers:
Like, poor Ed. He never stood a chance.
But that’s not his fault; he could have been schooled in the proper use of flatware from birth and still would have been stymied by this mess. There are pieces from AT LEAST 10 different silverware sets here, and practically nothing is in the right place to facilitate any sort of reasonable progression through a meal. Also? There are just so, SO many duplicates.
A 12-course meal should go: hors-d'oeuvres, amuse-bouche, soup, appetizer, salad, fish, main course (usually a red meat or game meat dish), palate cleaner (sorbet), second main course (usually a fowl dish), cheese course, dessert, and end of the meal dessert (often with coffee to promote digestion)
Starting left to right, we’ve got:
A - Dinner knife. Should be directly to the right of the plate. It COULD be part of the service to his left, but even if that’s the case, that means not everyone has the same number/type/placement of implements, and that the spacing of guests is too close to properly accommodate all the place settings, so I’m going to assume everything on camera is meant for Ed.
B - Butter knife. Belongs on the bread plate.
C - Soup spoon. Belongs as the outermost spoon on the right side of the plate.
D - Place spoon. Belongs to the left of the soup spoon on the right of the plate.
E - Seafood mallet. I can’t really find anything about where this goes in a place setting, and I’ve only used one where crabs or lobster were the main/only course. My instinct is to say it should be in the amuse-bouche spot (outer right, save 1) with the lobster fork in the corresponding spot on the left of the plate, but I could be wrong.
F - Fruit fork. Fruit is served at the end of the meal. This one goes closest to the plate on the left side.
G - Oyster fork. Yes, hors d’oeuvres come first, but this is the only fork that goes on the right of the plate. Thanks for playing.
H - Escargot fork. Ok, the fuck are they serving at this meal? You’ve got 12 courses. You pick ONE item for each course. Based on the silverware so far, we’re going heavy on the hors d’oeuvres. At least it’s on the correct side of the plate?
I - Salad fork. A new course? Be still my beating heart. And yeah, it’s in the right place.
J - Dinner fork. Also a new course, and also in the right place. Will wonders never cease.
K - A FUCKING TERRAPIN FORK. Oh - you gonna serve a chunky broth AFTER your main course? That’s an appetizer, you amateurs. You fools!
L - Escargot tongs. Sure. Why not there.
M - Fish fork. Like, you’re not even in the vicinity of the right place for this (to the right of the plate, in between the salad and dinner forks).
N - Ooops. There’s the lobster fork we were missing earlier.
O - That’s just an oyster fork from a different silverware service. If you were trying to pass it off as a dessert fork, those have 4 tines with a bar that transects the tines.
P - That’s just a butter knife from a different silverware service. Were you trying to pass it off as a cheese knife? Too bad that in a formal dining setting you have a special fork that does double duty for cutting and spearing cheese.
Q - Demitasse spoon. Coffee’s for closing the meal. This goes above the plate.
R - Sugar tongs. Those go with the sugar cubes in the sugar bowl, not at each individual place setting.
S - Possibly another terrapin fork? It’s hard to see, but whatever it is, it doesn’t go there.
So fuck Gabriel and Antoinette, for the provincial bumpkins that they are. Trying to just dump the contents of several silverware drawers on the table and call it culture so they can laugh at my boy? Go die in a fire. Oh, wait.