#self definition

"People have an intrinsic right to define themselves."

We may not agree with that definition. We may think the person is very different to how they describe themselves. But who someone is, well, that's up to them. They know themselves best and they have to live with it, not us.

If I feel that a self-description is damaging, say the person keeps putting themselves down, I might want to say " I think you're great. When you did... I was so impressed!"

But, re many other modes of self-description, we need to be careful. We don't necessarily know the potential implications of saying, "No you're not... you can't say...."

It's the person who is defining themselves who is most vulnerable, not us. So, if we claim to want to be decent human beings, we need to take care. I know many of us haven't always understood this, but I think we need to.

You may not have wanted "the redefinition of marriage" in the UK in 2014, but did anything about it personally hurt you...? You may feel confused by someone's "transgender identity" but is it really your business to question...? For most, surely the answer is "No".

I met something of this in a conversation last week. Answering the question: "Where do you come from?" I said "Britain" (where I was born) and faced a shocked and vehement: "You can't say that!"

I think I came off worse in the encounter, because it triggered my PTSD.

But I'm glad I said it. I am who I am and that has to be ok. And I really learned some things I might not have otherwise...

The art is of where I feel is home and love best in the whole wide world, but where I dare not to say I came from, because that's not actually true. I wasn't born there... It's available printed on all kinds of things at: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/129080160

Thanks

baggy/tight clothes, messy/well-dressed hair, freckled/coloured/pale skin, dark circles, acnes, black/colourful dress, wearing/not wearing jewellery, makeup/no makeup, straight/ “non-straight” (as society says)....... - these doesn’t define you. Everyone can assume & define you.....but it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you define you.