#sblp

And a new favorite has a emerged from the rest of the pack! 🙌🏼

Hideyoshi: ffs

Varian: I made tea. Piper: I don’t want tea. Varian: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Piper: Then why are you telling me? Varian: It is a conversation starter. Piper: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Varian: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate. Varian: Someone will die. Piper: Of fun! Varian: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much. Piper: Oh, you’ve been? Varian: Once. In Monopoly. Piper, we were both improsoned a year ago, what do you mean “Oh you’ve been?”? Varian: Okay, help me please! Piper: Got two words for you. Varian: I bet they won't be helpful. Piper: Your problem. Varian: I was right Piper: How do I deal with my enemies? Varian: Kill them Piper: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution Varian: Kill them only a little? Varian: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Piper: Killed without hesitation. Varian: No. Varian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Piper: I think you mean cards. Varian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not. Varian: I turned out perfectly fine! Piper: Varian, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Varian: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!! Varian: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Piper: You need to stop. Varian: *Accidentally hits Piper in the face* Varian: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'* Varian: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! Piper: What’s wrong with you?! Varian, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. Eugene: But – that’s just a trash can. Piper: It sure is! Varian: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Piper: What did you do? Varian: Nobody died. Piper: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?! Piper, holding the wand of oblivium: Varian... Varian: Oh no, 'Varian' in b-flat. You're disappointed. Piper: What’s up guys? I’m back. Varian: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Piper: Death is a social construct. Varian: This is such a bad idea. Piper: Then why are you coming along? Varian: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong. Varian: I can explain. Piper: Can you? Varian: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie. Varian: Top 30 reasons why Varian is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you! Piper: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!! Piper, reminiscing on her time on the prison barge: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Varian: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate. Varian: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Piper: Go the fuck to sleep Varian: What gif I don't want to? Piper: Fuck You Varian, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Piper. Piper: How did you do that without turning around? Varian: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you. Piper: Where are you going? Varian: To get ice cream or commit a felony high treason, I’ll decide on the way there Varian: You're right. Piper: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it? (This... This one is canon) Varian: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Piper's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out... Piper: Change is inedible. Varian: Don't you mean inevitable? Piper, spitting out coins: No, I did not. Varian: I'm a reverse necromancer. Piper: Isn't that just killing people? Varian: Ah, technicality. Varian: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Piper: Mind your language! Varian: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Piper: Varian: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes. Varian: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Piper: My record is four, but I think I can do it. Varian: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something. Piper: Varian, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass. Piper: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Varian: You and me!!! Piper, tearing up: Okay. Piper: God, give me patience. Varian: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Piper: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead. Varian: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Piper: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Varian: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God. Varian: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Piper: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly! Varian: I was arrested for being too cool. Piper: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence. Varian: Am I in trouble? Piper: Take a guess. Varian: No? Piper: Take another guess. Varian, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Piper, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK. Varian: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works. Piper, drinking toast: Why do you say that? Varian: Piper and I have the kind of great friendship where we finish each other's- Piper: Sentences. Varian: Don't interrupt me. Varian: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Piper: What's that? Varian: Remorse code. Piper: I'm even angrier now. Varian: What is your biggest weakness? Piper: I can be uncooperative. Varian: Okay, can you give me an example? Piper: No. Varian: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Piper: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up. Piper: Okay, truth or dare? Varian: Truth Piper: How many hours have you slept this week? Varian: Varian: ...Dare Piper: Go to bed. Varian: I don’t like this game. Rapunzel, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Piper: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Varian, with the tone of someone who is used to Piper: Outstanding. Rapunzel: This is what I’m talking about people. Varian: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Piper: Wednesay? Varian: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible Varian: Piper... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Piper: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Varian: Varian: I wrote sanitize, Piper. Piper: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder and mind erasing? Varian: Stop romanticizing the past.

That is it, those are the hints and really its just an EXCUSE because both of these paintings are some of my FAVORITE PAINTINGS. 

 Maybe, just maybe, he was meant to be loved.

yOOOOOO

AO3