#voltage

"Andrea... are you serious?" Y/n remained silent for a long second, her eyes fixed on Kimi.

"I am!!"

"Now?" Her voice came out in a whisper, almost a broken whisper. "You're... you're asking me to marry you now?"

"Not exactly now, right here in the middle of the room." Kimi tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but the moist glint in his eyes betrayed the gravity of the situation. "I'm saying I want us to start planning this. I want to take this step with you."

Y/n ran a hand through her hair, an anxious gesture as she began to walk in circles across the apartment's carpet.

"Kimi... we've already talked about this."

"We talked!" He readily agreed, remaining calm. "Many times! And every time you said you wanted to marry me someday."

"Yes, I want to." She blurted out, turning sharply to face him. "I've always wanted to, and you know it! But not now..."

"Why not now?" The question came with a gentle gentleness that hurt. It was a mild curiosity, without attacks. "What changed?"

"It's not what changed... it's what's happening!" Y/n felt her chest tighten, a physical pressure under her sternum. "There's so much in the middle of all this that could prevent us from planning a wedding..."

"Planning doesn't mean doing it tomorrow," Kimi retorted, remaining the safe harbor in that storm. "It means building something together. It means having a goal, a clear future."

"But we already have that!" Y/n insisted, feeling her eyes burn as the first tears threatened to overflow. "We already live together. We've been dating since we were fourteen. Everyone knows we're going to get married someday!"

"I know," he said, his voice dropping to an almost inaudible tone of vulnerability. "But I want that 'someday' to start becoming real."

Those last words were like a physical blow. Y/n hesitated, her feet planted on the floor, paralyzed in the center of the room. She looked at Kimi, and his image seemed to tremble through the curtain of tears that finally subsided.

"What exactly are holding you back?" Kimi asked with extreme caution, as if each word were a step into a minefield. "You said there's a lot going on... what would that be?"

"I... I just think that..." Y/n stammered, frustration rising like a tide. "You're doing so well this season and I have so much going on at university. We're seeing each other so little... everything feels so... unstable."

"Unstable?" Kimi repeated, taking a few slow steps toward her. "Y/n, we survived the distance, the training, the changes of country, the pressure of everything I do... and you think an engagement is going to make it harder?"

"It's not just that!"

"So what is it?" he asked, and for the first time, a note of insecurity cracked his serene voice. "You don't want to marry me?"

Y/n lifted her head instantly, the shock stopping her tears for a brief second. Her eyes shone, reflecting the light of the room and the deep pain that now consumed every fiber of her being. His question hurt more than her own indecision.

It was as if he were questioning the foundation of everything they had built since adolescence.

"Don't say that again! You know it's not like that!" Her voice faltered, hoarse with emotion. "I see a beautiful future with you. I always have. I just... don't feel ready for such a big step right now."

"Prepared how?" Kimi insisted, the sweetness still present, but mixed with a quiet determination. "Because I'm prepared for anything that comes with you. To wait, to plan slowly, to do it our way."

She took a deep breath, feeling an avalanche of emotions: fear, exhaustion, love, and urgency colliding all at once.

"KIMI, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Y/n exploded, her tears now coming in open sobs. "I want this too. I DREAM about it. But...it feels like everything is happening too fast. Life is rushing by, you're rushing by...and I feel like if we put a wedding in the middle of all this, it's going to be even more pressure."

Kimi took another step, reaching out to touch her arm, a gesture of comfort.

"It wouldn't be pressure if it were something we wanted."

"I KNOW!" Y/n replied, now more agitated, dodging the touch and stepping back. "I know we want to. But wanting doesn't mean it's the right time."

The silence that followed was dense, almost palpable. It wasn't the silence of an ordinary argument; it was the weight of two people who loved each other deeply, but who were on different time frequencies.

Kimi had been planting seeds of marriage for months. At first, Y/n reacted with smiles and ethereal plans, imagining it for a hazy "later": after graduation, after his career was established, after life stopped spinning so fast. However, in recent weeks, Kimi's tone had abandoned the realm of dreams to anchor itself in reality.

He spoke with a frightening seriousness, turning "maybe" into "it needs to be now."

This terrified her.

Love had never been the problem; marrying Andrea Kimi Antonelli was the only certainty Y/n had carried since she was fourteen. They had built a private universe: the small apartment in Monaco, the routines divided between time zones, the secrets exchanged in the dark. But they were only twenty years old—or close to twenty. He was at the epicenter of a hurricane called Formula 1, and she was immersed in books, trying to secure her own place in the world.

"I'm not pressuring you..." Kimi finally said, his voice low, almost defeated. "I'm just trying to understand why it feels so wrong to take this step with you."

"It's not wrong!" Y/n replied between the tears that stubbornly fell. "It's just not right now!"

"So when?"

Y/n opened her mouth to answer, but silence was her only response. She simply didn't know.

"Kimi, please..." Y/n covered her face with her hands, trying to stop the trembling. "I don't want to fight with you about this..."

He approached again, his arms open for a hug that promised forgiveness and patience. But Y/n was at the limit of her sensitivity. The matter seemed like a vicious cycle that was draining her energy.

"I just... need to think," Y/n says, walking towards the door.

Kimi followed her to the hall. "Y/n..."

"And before you say anything else, this isn't insecurity about marrying you. I love you so much that sometimes it doesn't fit in my heart, but heavens... this issue keeps going around in circles and nobody can reach a consensus."

She let out a few more heavy tears. Kimi tried one last touch, but Y/n dodged with a sharp movement, a reflex of emotional exhaustion. He stepped back, his face revealing a hurt he had been trying to hide.

"And I won't...I won't be able to go to the Chinese Grand Prix with you..." Y/n said in an almost inaudible tone, grabbing her bag from the sideboard.

That same night, Kimi would cross the world to China.

At the beginning of the week, the plan was perfect: trips, tickets bought, her support in the paddock. But now, the distance between them wasn't measured in kilometers, but in unresolved silences. The university's excuse, which he knew so well and didn't blame, now sounded empty.

Now, what was truly preventing her from leaving was the cloud of uncertainty hanging over "us."

Kimi remained motionless, his eyes fixed on the spot where she had been seconds before. He exhaled with a long sigh, running his hands over his face, trying to erase the image of her crying.

He understood her fears. He knew about the academic pressure, he knew that the routine of being a Formula 1 driver was a chaotic mix of airports and hotels that often excluded normalcy, and he knew they were young. But, for Kimi, marriage wasn't an extra burden; it was the anchor. It was his way of promising that, no matter how fast he raced on the track, he would always return to the same place. To her.

Days later, routine swallowed him up.

Engineers, telemetry, and free practice sessions under the gray skies of Suzuka. Kimi acted mechanically, delivering the expected performance, but his fingers reached for his phone during every break. He sent audio messages full of cautious sweetness, just to say he was okay, without demanding answers.

On the other side of the world, Y/n was experiencing a mirrored reflection of pain.

Amidst piles of books and endless reviews, she stared at the television tuned to the sports channel. Watching his car speed down the track filled her with immense pride, immediately followed by a pang of longing and the stubborn belief that, for now, silence was the only thing she could offer.

The messages between the two had become a minefield of silences.

Y/n would only respond with the bare minimum, and sometimes she would let notifications pile up for hours, staring at his name on the screen with a tight chest, but too weak to type. On other occasions, she would simply leave a blank response, allowing the digital distance to become as vast as the physical one.

📲Kimi: "Good morning, my love. Is everything alright there?"

📲Y/n: "All right. Heading to university."

📲Kimi: "I wanted to call you before going into practice, but I thought you might be busy."

📲Y/n: "Yes, I am. Good workout."

After a few hours, as if trying to break through a wall of ice, Kimi was once again the first to text. He maintained a light, affectionate tone, acting as if the painful argument before the trip was just a forgotten blur.

For Y/n, this attitude was synonymous with stress; she felt that Kimi was ignoring something as big as an elephant in the room. However, she recognized that this was Kimi's defense mechanism.

📲Kimi: "The practice session just finished, the cars were great. It was tiring, but we're doing well."

📲Y/n: "I imagine."

📲Kimi: "And how are you? Did you have lunch at the university?"

📲Y/n: "No, I went to my mother's house."

📲Kimi: "Oh, cool. How are things going over there?"

(Viewed by Y/n)

📲Kimi: "Okay... take some rest too. You've been putting too much pressure on yourself."

Kimi persisted throughout the day, sending small updates and words of encouragement, but Y/n's silence became absolute.

The worry, which had previously been just a shadow, took hold of the pilot. The fear that something was wrong or that her silence was a sign of giving up made him turn to his mother-in-law, asking her to check if Y/n was alright.

Upon learning that Y/n wasn't at the apartment, he deduced that her university schedule was overwhelming her. Kimi decided to back off; he no longer wanted to be a burden on her exhausting routine. He spent the afternoon in a state of silent alert, his cell phone always nearby, but without sending anything else until night fell in China.

📲Kimi: "I came to wish you goodnight. I just arrived at the hotel and I'm going to sleep, but I'm here whenever you need me. I love you always and forever, my Italian girl."

(Much later)

📲Y/n: "Good night. Take care!"

On Friday, the broadcast screens and lap times confirmed what the motorsport world had already been saying: Andrea Kimi Antonelli was in a state of grace.

On the other side of the world, Y/n watched everything hidden among books and notes. Tears fell silently onto the paper. She saw his success and an avalanche of thoughts hit her: the fear that marriage now would be a distraction for Kimi, the weight of media expectations, the apprehension that her own academic career would crumble under the pressure of being the wife of a rising star.

She loved him desperately, but the fear of failing Kimi and herself made her believe that the best thing to do was pretend she was just "too busy."

📲Kimi: "Did you see the Sprint standings?"

📲Y/n: "I saw a little."

📲Kimi: "I wanted to call you when it ended... but they took me straight to the meetings. I missed you."

📲Y/n: "I was studying."

📲Kimi: "I know. I just wanted to hear your voice."

(No response)

(Minutes later)

📲Y/n: "Sorry... I'm really happy and proud of P1. Congratulations, my love."

📲Kimi: "Thank you, my dear. Know that I am also very proud of you."

📲Y/n: "Thank you."

📲Kimi: "I need to go to a few more meetings. Can I call you later, love?"

📲Y/n: "Sure. Have a good meeting."

Although Y/n had endorsed the connection, the phone never rang.

Kimi, in an act of sacrifice and sensitivity, felt that she still needed space to breathe. He didn't want to force a closeness that Y/n seemed to reject.

What he didn't know was that Y/n spent the rest of the day in bitter tears, regretting her coldness. Pride, that stubborn and stupid barrier, prevented her from dialing his number, creating an abyss of loneliness where there had once been complicity.

On Saturday, the absolute confirmation came with the Sprint and Pole Position for the main race. Kimi was the name on everyone's lips, all eyes were on him. Y/n smiled in front of the TV, a flash of genuine happiness, which was soon choked by an overwhelming urge to cry.

Finally, regret overcame pride. For the first time in days, she took the initiative.

📲Y/n: "Congratulations on the pole, you deserve all of this and much more. Proud of you."

(Viewed almost immediately)

📲Kimi: "Thank you, my love. You know you're my strength to achieve all of this."

📲Y/n: "Kiimiii!"

📲Kimi: "Okay... but I wanted to celebrate with you."

📲Y/n: "Okay, but enjoy yourself with the team."

📲Kimi: "It's not the same thing. You know."

(No response)

(Later)

📲Kimi: "I left some meetings and went straight back to the hotel. Are you okay?"

(It takes a long time)

📲Y/n: "Yes, I am!"

📲Kimi: "I wish I could hug you right now."

📲Y/n: "Everything will be alright tomorrow."

📲Kimi: "Are you going to watch?"

📲Y/n: "Yeah, I think so."

📲Kimi: "That alone makes me happy."

📲Y/n:"🤗"

📲Kimi: "You know I love you, no matter what. You'll always be mine priority."

(Viewed. No response.)

This time, the silence wasn't due to malice or calculated coldness, but because Y/n was engulfed in deep, convulsive sobs.

She had an ocean of words to say, but her throat felt constricted. It was agonizing to realize that at the most glorious moment of his career, it was Kimi who was trying to support her, while she drowned in her own confusion.

Sunday dawned with a silence that felt like it weighed tons inside the apartment.

The pale morning light filtered through the windows, illuminating the organized mess on the dining table: sheets of paper, books open to random pages, and highlighter pens that contrasted with the grayness of Y/n's mood.

The television was on, but the volume was merely a vain attempt to fill the void left by Kimi's absence.

When the broadcast cut to the starting grid and the camera zoomed in on car number 12 standing in pole position, the air left his lungs.

The world outside stopped; the world inside her stagnated.

This was no longer just another Grand Prix. It was the culmination of a journey she had followed since the high-pitched roar of the go-karts, when they were just two teenagers with scraped knees and dreams too big for their size.

She thought about the harshness of his last words, the distance he had created, and how her silence now seemed unfair in the face of the magnitude of what he was about to confront.

Before lowering his dark visor, Kimi closed his eyes for five seconds that felt like an eternity.

Kimi could still see the shock in her eyes when he mentioned marriage. There was no bitterness in him, only a quiet determination. He wasn't just running for a trophy; he was running to prove that the future he wanted to build was a safe harbor, not a chain.

The start was a punch to the gut. Kimi slipped and in the blink of an eye, he was swallowed up by the pack, dropping several positions. Y/n leaned so far forward in his chair that he almost touched the screen.

What followed was an agony of fast laps, tire strategies, and last-minute overtakes. Y/n was no longer a student surrounded by books; she was merely a part of him that had been left behind.

At that moment, university grades didn't matter. All that mattered was the gleam of the silver car and the boy who, at fourteen, promised he would take her to see the world.

When the checkered flag finally waved and Kimi crossed the line first, Y/n's legs gave way. Her face was buried in her hands, her body trembling with overflowing emotion. It was her first victory, and the world now knew what she had always known: Kimi was a giant.

On the radio, his voice came out broken, heavy with tears that he didn't try to hide.

"Team... thank you. Thank you for believing in me. This car was incredible today."

There was a silence, filled only by his heavy breathing and sobs echoing in his helmet.

"I know a lot of people were a part of this... my family, mom, dad... everyone who's been with me from the beginning." He paused for a second, and Y/n felt as if Kimi was looking directly at her. "And... Y/n, my love. I know you're watching. Thank you for never giving up on me." A nervous, wet giggle cut through the transmission. "I apologize for saying this on international television, but I really hope you'll consider what I told you before you left. You're the priority, okay? Don't forget that, my love."

In the empty apartment, the sound of Y/n's weak laughter mingled with her sobs. She shook her head, a silly, emotional smile appearing between the tears, feeling like the most loved woman and, at the same time, the silliest in the world for having doubted that love.

Kimi jumped out of the car as if he had springs in his feet, running into the arms of his team and his father, who hugged him with a pride that couldn't be contained in the paddock. Before heading to the interview area, Kimi removed his helmet, found the main camera lens, fixed his gaze on it, and with a shy smile that was unique to them, blew a discreet kiss.

For Y/n, it was as if he had walked into the room and hugged her.

Tears began to fall again like a waterfall, a paralyzing mix of extreme happiness and a pang of guilt that Y/n was already ready to transform into forgiveness.

"Kimi, your first Formula 1 victory. How can you put into words what just happened?" the interviewer asked, extending the microphone.

Kimi let out a small laugh.

"I don't know if I can do it. It was... it was too intense. The race was very difficult at the beginning. I lost positions at the start and, for a moment, I thought I had let the opportunity slip away. But the team did an incredible job with the strategy, the car was fantastic. I just tried to stay calm and believe until the end."

"And when you returned to leadership, what went through your mind?"

"A lot of things..." Kimi replied, glancing at the asphalt for a second, his voice still trembling. "I thought about everything that brought me here. The years of karting, the sacrifices of my family, the people who always believed in me, and I also thought that I needed to finish this for all of us."

The interviewer smiled at the young driver's sincerity. "This season started very strong for you. Today you confirmed the talent that everyone was already talking about. Do you feel that this result changes anything for the rest of the championship?"

"It changes your confidence," Kimi stated with a maturity that belied his age. "When you win for the first time, you understand that it's possible to repeat it. But it also increases the responsibility. I still have a lot to learn and there are many races ahead. I want to continue evolving and helping the team achieve more results."

"Speaking of important people... we saw you mentioning family on the radio. Where is Y/n? We didn't find her in the paddock this special weekend."

Kimi's smile changed instantly. It became softer, more private.

"She's at home," he said, his voice full of protective affection. "She has important exams at university, assignments... a very busy schedule. We were also taking care of some personal things before the trip." Kimi let out an awkward laugh, scratching the back of her neck with a youthful gesture. "But she always supports me, even when she's not physically present. Y/n is definitely one of the strongest pillars of my confidence in this sport."

On the living room floor, surrounded by scattered papers that now seemed so small in the face of life, Y/n sobbed uncontrollably. The image of the two of them at fourteen, making silly promises under the Italian sun, floated in her mind.

Kimi respected her so much that, even in the face of an argument and the biggest moment of his life, he made a point of protecting and honoring her before the whole world. Kimi's love wasn't pressure; it was an ocean, and Y/n was finally ready to stop fighting the tide and just dive in.

The interviewer smiled again, visibly moved by the vulnerability and power of that statement.

"And this victory is dedicated to Y/n, right? Would you like to send a special message?"

Kimi took a deep breath, his hands gripping the microphone with a slight tremor. He looked directly into the camera lens and, for a second, the chaos of Shanghai seemed to fall silent.

"I know we still have a lot to talk about... I know it might not be the perfect time, but... I want you to know that regardless of anything... I already consider you my fiancée."

His smile widened in an almost childlike way, a mixture of mischief and complete surrender.

All around, the reaction was a wave of shock and tenderness. The team's mechanics cheered, some exchanging pats on the back and whistles. Experienced journalists exchanged surprised glances, capturing the romantic scoop that no one expected.

The crowd in the stands erupted in a chorus of applause. Further back, George and Lewis exchanged amused smiles, acknowledging the young boy's courage.

In the apartment, Y/n was sobbing, her hands covering her drenched face. Between the sobs that shook her shoulders, an absolute clarity settled in. In the midst of her crying, a phrase escaped in a trembling whisper, a promise sealed in the solitude of the room.

"Try."

She accepted.

She accepted the risk of loving a man who lived on the edge, she accepted the challenge of reconciling their worlds, she accepted the title he had just given her in front of millions.

Y/n accepted being an Antonelli, forever.

Later, away from the flashing lights and the national anthem, extreme fatigue began to take its toll on Kimi's body, but his mind was a high-revving engine. When he finally managed to close the hotel room door and sit on the edge of the bed, the euphoria of victory gave way to a deep melancholy.

The trophy was there, but the silence of the room emphasized her absence. Winning the world didn't seem complete if he couldn't hear her laughter beside him.

📲Kimi: "I'm heading to the airport, honey. I'm boarding in a few hours. I'll arrive early in the morning."

📲Kimi: "Take care, please."

Y/n stared at the light of her phone for a few seconds. Her heart tightened, but not from pain; it was a conscious beat, the rhythm of someone who had finally made a decision.

📲Y/n: "Have a good trip. I'm proud of you. I love you."

The words were few, but the sweetness within them signaled a truce. The "I love you" carried the weight of an apology and an acceptance.

And while the plane crossed continents under the cover of night, Y/n couldn't get a wink of sleep.

She tried to lie down, seeking the comfort of the sheets, but every memory of their relationship, from their first kiss at fourteen to his image on the radio, flashed before her like a film. The fear she had felt days before now seemed minuscule compared to the vastness of what she felt for him.

The cell phone vibrated again with the first rays of sunlight.

📲Kimi: "I just landed. I'm going to get a taxi, you're probably still sleeping. I love you."

Y/n didn't even bother to answer; the impulse was automatic. She grabbed the first jacket, her cell phone, and her keys, leaving the apartment in a blur of haste. Each heartbeat was a stopwatch marking the distance.

On the way to the airport, images of the race kept replaying in her mind: the moment she fell from the standings, the fear of losing him, his voice declaring her his fiancée to the world. His proposal, previously seen as pressure, now shone in her mind as the only natural evolution possible for what they were.

Upon reaching the arrivals hall, the floor seemed to be made of clouds. Y/n walked quickly, her eyes scanning the automatic gate.

Until he appeared.

Kimi was visibly exhausted, wearing his travel sweatshirt, his hair an adorable mess, and his eyes searching the crowd with timid hope.

When he saw her, time stood still. His smile slowly blossomed, incredulous, until it lit up his tired face.

Y/n was already running.

When her body collided with his, it was as if the last piece of a puzzle fell into place. Her arms tightened around his neck with desperate force, and the tears came all at once, intense and liberating.

Everything collapsed, all the coldness of the last few days melted away in the warmth of that embrace.

Kimi frowned worriedly, wiping the tears from her face with his thumbs.

"Hey... what happened, love?" His voice was a gentle whisper. "Did something happen while I was gone? Are you okay?"

Y/n tried to speak, but emotion blocked her words.

"It happened... yes."

"Tell me. No matter what it is, I'll solve it. I'll find a way!" He rested his forehead against hers.

Y/n let out a weak giggle through her tears, the first sign of peace.

"It turns out that... yes, I want to marry you."

The world stopped. Kimi stood still, processing the sentence as if it were a miracle. Then, the most radiant smile of his life appeared, relieved and huge.

"Seriously?" he asked, his voice breaking with joy. "Love...?"

Y/n nodded, laughing and crying at the same time. "I am! I was scared... But yesterday, seeing you... hearing you... I realized that what I'm most afraid of is losing you. I don't want to run away from that anymore, I want to be with you forever."

Kimi let out an emotional laugh, circling her waist and lifting her slightly for a kiss that carried all the relief and longing of the last few days. It was a long, deep kiss, a seal on the promise that was now mutual.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear that." He murmured against her lips, unable to stop smiling. "I thought I'd ruined everything... I thought I'd pressured you too much..."

"You never messed anything up!" Y/n smiled, caressing his face. "I was being silly."

Kimi shook his head, laughing. "I just wanted you to understand that it wasn't a demand. It was just... certainty."

"I know!" She observed every detail of his face, storing the moment in her memory. "And now I'm certain of it."

They stood there, breathing the same air for a few seconds.

"But..." Y/n murmured. "Can we do this in our own time?"

"Of course! No rush, my love." Kimi kissed her cheek affectionately.

"I want to get engaged to you. I want to plan our life together... but without rushing. Maybe we can make it official at the registry office at the end of the year... something simple. And we can have the ceremony later. When things are calmer, when we can really enjoy ourselves."

Kimi nodded without hesitation. "I'll wait as long as it takes. As long as you're with me. As long as the plan is always us."

Y/n smiled with a peace she hadn't felt in weeks. "The plan was always for us!"

He chuckled softly, the penny finally dropping. "So this means I can officially start calling you my fiancée?"

"Yes, it means that!"

"So... can I say this request outright?" Kimi asked, her eyes sparkling. Y/n laughed loudly and nodded. "You want me to kneel too? But I don't have my ring here. It's at home!"

"Kimi!" Y/n giggled, feeling the lightness return.

"Okay, okay!" He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, becoming serious for a moment, his eyes filled with love. "I can do this again in a special way later. But... Y/n, will you marry me?"

Y/n flashed the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, new tears of pure joy welling up.

"I want to marry you, Andrea Kimi Antonelli!"

His smile widened before he pulled her into another passionate kiss. In the middle of the noisy lobby, amidst flight announcements and hurried luggage, they were the only inhabitants of a universe that was finally in perfect balance.

YOU KNOW IT WAS

My little pretentious whore

My little pretentious whore 2.0 😂