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this is a sequel to Solace (Shane/Andrew) and Eclipse (Ryan/Steven); i’d suggest reading these first to understand
Andrew didn’t expect waking up next to Shane Madej to become a common occurrence, and then something he looked forward to, but one day he wakes up and realizes he’s in a relationship with Shane.
It’s funny, really – or maybe just bittersweet? This started out as a distraction. A drunken tumble to forget the fact that they were both hopelessly in love with someone else.
Steven and Ryan.
But they woke up the next morning, and instead of the expected dread and fumbling to run away from the mistake, they both just smiled and pulled each other in closer.
It wasn’t what they’d wanted but it was what they’d needed.
Days passed and it felt right, it felt cozy, and most of all it felt incredibly better than the numb torture Andrew had been subjected to every day for months, when he saw Steven.
Before he knows it, Shane becomes the reason for Andrew’s smiles, the reason he wakes up in the morning. His boyfriend.
They don’t talk about Ryan and Steven again, but it’s still somehow in the back of Andrew’s head.
It pops whenever Shane and Ryan are working on something at their desks, and their old complicity shows in every move, in ever laugh, in every playful punch of Ryan on Shane’s shoulder when he makes a terrible joke.
And Andrew stops and watch.
Ryan Bergara.
The man his boyfriend used to be in love with.
Still is in love with?
Andrew doesn’t know.
They don’t talk about it.
Maybe they should.
Andrew wants to see what Shane sees in Ryan. He wants to understand.
Because Steven seems to be hanging around Ryan a lot these days, and maybe Shane and Steven both see something in Ryan that Andrew’s never seen.
So Andrew watches, day after day. It’s not an obsession, he tells himself, it’s research.
He collects information – snippets of Ryan’s days he plays back to himself afterwards. And then he sees it.
Smiles and laughs and dedication. A boyish need to believe that almost borders on naivety but is oh so endearing.
A body that can only be described as hot as hell.
Andrew gets it. And maybe he feels it too, now. Ryan’s irresistible pull.
He keeps his mouth shut. He doesn’t think Ryan notices.
Until one night when he’s working late. The office is empty, lit only by Andrew’s desk lamp.
There’s no bottle of whiskey in his desk drawer. He never replaced the one Shane emptied. He didn’t need to.
Nevertheless, the déjà vu feels eerie when he hears footsteps behind him.
Ryan coming out of Ghouls HQ. And dropping into Steven’s chair.
Just like Shane did three months ago.
And look where it led.
“What’s up, Andrew?”
Andrew shrugs, nods at his screen. “Work.”
“I meant,” and Ryan rolls closer in the chair, “What’s up with us?”
“Us?”
There’s no us. There can’t be an us.
Andrew and Ryan are nothing more that coworkers, friends, who, by some weird twist of fate, both fuck the person the other wanted.
That’s all.
“I’ve seen you staring, Andrew.”
Fuck.
Before he can realize what he’s doing, he’s rolled his chair closer to Ryan, leaning in his seat.
Their knees are bumping, he can feel Ryan’s breath on his lips, and a battle is taking place in Andrew’s mind.
Shane never said they were exclusive.
Exclusive or not, that’s the man he’s in love with, you dickhead!
His eyes snap back open – he hadn’t even realized he’d closed them.
Ryan seems to be having the same inner turmoil, eyes widening with a gasp.
“We can’t.”
“Jesus, what’s wrong with us?” Ryan rolls away, gets up to pace, hands raking through his hair.
Andrew hates that he notices how Ryan’s arms bulge in this tight t-shirt.
He hates that that’s what his brain chooses to focus on.
He hates that all he wants is for Ryan to come back in his seat and pick up where they left off.
He hates what he’s about to say, even though it might be the most sensible thought he’s had through this whole ordeal.
“Maybe we should talk. The four of us.”
“And say what?” Ryan looks like he’s about to lose it, and Andrew hates that he knows what to do because of all the time he’s spent with Steven. “Sorry Steven, I almost made out with the man you’re in love with?”
Everything Andrew was about to do to help Ryan out of his anxiety spiral flies out of his head.
Steven – Steven’s in love with Andrew?
How the fuck did his life get so twisted?
He leans back in his chair, shaking with uncontrollable, silent laughter – the kind that brings actual tears to his eyes.
Ryan stops pacing, looking so insulted Andrew laughs even harder.
“Care to explain what’s so hilarious in this situation?”
It takes Andrew a minute to reign in his laughter, and even then there’s no erasing the grin on his face as he explains.
“I’ve been in love with Steven for years. Shane’s in love with you, and if I’m not mistaken, the feeling’s mutual? I think, if we just talk to our boyfriends, for once, we might end up having a lot of fun.”
Ryan couldn’t look more mind-blown unless his head actually exploded in the middle of the office.
“Shane - wait, really?”
Andrew nods. “Apparently the four of us should really learn to talk about our feelings.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
Andrew stands up and bridges the space between them, cupping Ryan’s face softly. “Think it counts as cheating if we’re on the verge of a potential foursome?”
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