#running backwards

and that would fix everything or gratuitous picture of mumblelard wuersday

A part of of your personality

To make me recognise you

Without blinking for familiarity.

I search for a thread of intimacy

That'd lead me to remember

A connection lost prematurely,

Yet right from the way

You flick your eyes,

Surprise me with

A new exotic flavour

Of your voice,

Talk in a way that makes

All your memories recede

From my mind,

Leaves me on crossroads

And I long to run backwards

Based on this very blog

Running Backwards is about a woman, Monica Wright who comes from a family line of psychics. She discovers what she ran away from for years; The truth about the disappearance of her ex-boyfriend and what it really means to have an extraordinary gift. Can she rekindle her relationship with a dead man? This is a question she asks herself often all while realizing the power of love that transcends literal time and space.

Marching has become more of a trend now

People get upset

People go yell in the street for a few days

Then People go to work and give their money to the same people they protest against..

Has anyone noticed that this generation has had some of the biggest and most frequent marches but somehow the least amount of change? Police Brutality hasn’t changed, government corruption hasn’t changed, malpractice in businesses hasn’t changed and now your internet privacy is about to be compromised legally.

Flint still doesn’t have clean water

Pedophiles are trying to become a sexuality and just might at this rate

and 3D printed guns are a thing now

and so far all marching has done alot of is make some very powerful Instagram pictures and gotten alot of people maced and arrested. Hell most of these marches don’t even get people fired from their jobs.

this is more of a rant so im not expecting much. But i’m just tired of seeing people get killed for no reason, and seeing people protest for a day, and then go on with their lives until the next one within a week.

And it literally hurts. I didn't notice until 17 pages in. To write a book based on this blog literally hurts under my left bewb...Im not joking. Like, I got to a specific part and had to stop. I started the book last year and decided today to edit the first chapter.

I don't think I can physically and mentally do it. To write a book or novel based on this blog, MY blog and the shit that happened and continues to be happening in greater detail hurts. To write here in the blog and all isn't something I spend that much time on.

Just a couple of hours of typing

...and recalling everything that happened and trying put it in an easier way to understand my relationship with my dead twin flame. I start to think about the opinions of others. Why I suddenly gave a shit, people fucking suck and so do their opinions. Because they are just opinions. Not facts.

I can pour enough tea to drown someone in!

A lot of the things I added had to be added because I've not written about it here. It's really hard. Having this blog I intended to explain everything that goes between Erik and I. Some thing too hard to translate to something understandable. But it still makes me look psycho.

I still have a small amount of fear I've carried around as a "witch" in times of the Spanish (I think it was Spanish, Dominican or the American) inquisition. It took me a couple months to decide to have this blog. So I've been anxious for a while. So I'm not too fond of having this blog in fear of being called something I'm not in relation to my spirituality and spiritual experience. Especially when I write about what's in my heart.

If I have to listen to my heart

Even though I'm learning to listen to my heart more and care less about what other people think about me, about Erik and being Twin Flames, my heart is hurting and I shouldn't write this book. At least for now. I have to honor my feelings because by writing this book, again I'm forcing myself to remember the hardest parts of my life and my past lives.

I consider myself a sort of writer and sort of student. Well my field of study is major in parapsychology and minor in let’s just say ummm…🤔 And minor in creative writing? If that makes any sense. Idk I’m so tired and all over the place. Lol I was thinking about watching 50 Shades of Grey again. Okay okay… 🤭 All giggles and shits aside, I haven’t seen the last movie. The first two was enough.

Now this is completely uncharacteristic of me to be jealous of a character. Okay 😂👌 I’ll fess up to it. I think many fan-girls can relate. I fucking hated the actress and the character she played. Gottdaym…

Shit while I’m at it, what’s his name? Gordon? Goldbloom?

G-something or whatever character from YOU (good show, wrote about months before on Netflix) and I think another season is out? 😏 Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do? Erik was making fun of me while twirling this thing in my head. Obviously I haven’t quite… Lets just say I got a little “bothered”.

😂🙏 Okay so here goes and for the love of God…

… This is just the effect of living in a shelter sharing a dorm of 20 women and I’m not a fan of showers! Lmao I’m literally laughing so hard right now. Well as silent as possible. In a was ironically, I’m not a huge fan of fictional novels or shit like that. What I read is something like the discovery of DNA like “The Violinist’s Thumb”. Never got to finish it! Lost it in transit from street to overnight shelters. Real content is better than some fictitious bullshit like Twilight. The last book series I’ve read. I since grew up.

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(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.