#ikinitt

And it literally hurts. I didn't notice until 17 pages in. To write a book based on this blog literally hurts under my left bewb...Im not joking. Like, I got to a specific part and had to stop. I started the book last year and decided today to edit the first chapter.

I don't think I can physically and mentally do it. To write a book or novel based on this blog, MY blog and the shit that happened and continues to be happening in greater detail hurts. To write here in the blog and all isn't something I spend that much time on.

Just a couple of hours of typing

...and recalling everything that happened and trying put it in an easier way to understand my relationship with my dead twin flame. I start to think about the opinions of others. Why I suddenly gave a shit, people fucking suck and so do their opinions. Because they are just opinions. Not facts.

I can pour enough tea to drown someone in!

A lot of the things I added had to be added because I've not written about it here. It's really hard. Having this blog I intended to explain everything that goes between Erik and I. Some thing too hard to translate to something understandable. But it still makes me look psycho.

I still have a small amount of fear I've carried around as a "witch" in times of the Spanish (I think it was Spanish, Dominican or the American) inquisition. It took me a couple months to decide to have this blog. So I've been anxious for a while. So I'm not too fond of having this blog in fear of being called something I'm not in relation to my spirituality and spiritual experience. Especially when I write about what's in my heart.

If I have to listen to my heart

Even though I'm learning to listen to my heart more and care less about what other people think about me, about Erik and being Twin Flames, my heart is hurting and I shouldn't write this book. At least for now. I have to honor my feelings because by writing this book, again I'm forcing myself to remember the hardest parts of my life and my past lives.