(i don’t think there are any actual Minden fans out there, but oh well)

In a modern fic I'm writing, I brought up Dagur's list of people he would contact in case of an emergency. I started thinking way too hard about this, so I might as well share (it's sad how this is also how most of my fics begin).

Hiccup is the first one on the list. He's known Dagur the longest and has already seen the good and bad, so having to get called to a jail because Dagur beat up a rude bartender isn't even a surprise. Is he going to still scold him? Yes, but Dagur's heard it enough that he already has several speeches ready.

Mala's next. She hasn't seen all the bad from Dagur, so there's a part of him that wants to keep her from knowing how deranged he can get. Still, she's reasonable and takes care of business, making her a perfect person to call. If he's actually in trouble, he knows she'll probably kill someone for him too which he finds cute.

Heather is third because Dagur trusts her. He doesn't want to be a burden, though, so she's not as high on the list as she could be. He knows her temper isn't great either, so it might just end with them both being in holding cells if worst comes to worst. If he doesn't contact her after both Hiccup and Mala were unavailable, she'll fuss at him, so whatever he does is a calculated risk.

Fishlegs is probably next because he's responsible. He doesn't get called for arrests. He would be too scared to be around the other people, so this is a "somebody blew up my car, can you give me a ride?" or another issue along those lines (because I'm convinced at least one person has tried to kill Dagur)

Snotlout because Dagur's not really sure if he'll make it better or worse. It's a coin toss. He prefers his Snothat time to be fun, but he still knows Snotty can hold his own. So, if he's about to go somewhere and needs backup, then Snotlout gets pushed up to the first place. It's just anything else that makes Dagur wary.

I'm almost not sure if Astrid is on this list. I feel like she has a similar problem to Heather with also being so angry. This could cause more problems than it fixes, but she'd probably be okay if he was stranded somewhere and needed a ride and Fishlegs wasn't around.

Ruff and Tuff are not on this list. There is 0 chance that Dagur's calling them for any kind of emergency. They're his prank buddies. If something is wrong, he doesn't trust that they'll turn the silly mode off and be helpful.

No one else is on that list either because he either doesn't know them very well (Atali, Gobber, and Minden), knows he would cause him to die somehow (Gustav), or still isn't sure if they're cool (Stoick).

Here is the story that made me think about this. I will admit that it's ridiculous, but it was also so much fun to make.

My HTTYD tierlist based on how attractive I find the characters to be.

Criticism is appreciated, I am prepared to go to war in the comments…

Nervous gulp.